Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm, and cause cancer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML
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Top comments
alaskababy907 11
Hey, I heard that if you stand too close to the microwave you can get cancer from the radiation in those things. You should probably stay away from them...
thatgirlinoregon 21
I wonder how much 'kimotherapy' costs? Less than chemotherapy, perhaps?
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Comments (104)
GODert 8
You should get ball cancer you'll be able to jump on them and smoke medical weed
redhedsaysrawr 18
and you honestly think cancer is fun? i would say YOU deserve it, but no one deserves cancer. its a scary and depressing thing to go through. honestly? if the cancer doesnt kill you, the chemo can do some serious damage to vital organs... all for some damn weed? Please... if you think weed is more important than your health, then, well... im a total lost for words...
power6053 4
I'm in 6th grade and I know a microwave produces microwaves from the magnetron making water vibrate and causing friction to hear your food and what not. Thus your argument is invalid.
SpeakOutLoud 1
That stuff can cause cancer moron!
artmastr 0
My dad told my little sister once to keep her nose off the glass because she was going to die of cancer then he told me a few days later it was fine because he didn't care as much.
AnnaPhase 0
It's true. :/
yeongji 31
I heard something about the radiation before and because of it, I do not stand next to the microwave either. Whether that is true or not, I don't care. I still won't stand next to it because microwaves can explode. Not all of them do and you do not necessarily have to put the wrong object in for it to explode, but I have heard stories of them exploding before. It does not hurt to not stand next to it either way. It is not like your body heat will make your food heat it up faster anyway.
MyloXylotoGirl 0
Ha I never heard of that before! Lol wtf.
cherieblossom 5
It's true you know. The doctors have started recommending pregnant women to stay a few feet away from the microwave... google it!
Lillie_bird 16
She's not exactly wrong you know. ^^
A7xLover_ 6
She just wants grand babies(: