Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
Nice to see you have a good relationship and can talk things out in a civilized manner Seriously though, this was hilarious on his part I'm sure he was joking like I do with my wife when she nitpicks me
Mpsteve13 7
boyfriend ftw
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Comments (149)
amerwin 3
haha.. sounds like you guys need to compromise. He can start with a California roll (barely classifies as sushi), and you can try just the tip.
funzcpl 0
a compromise! yes. lol.
funzcpl 0
lmao! that's great!
askantik 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How can sushi be disgusting? "Sushi" is just rice with rice vinegar. I'm a vegan and I enjoy sushi all the time. I'm so tired of people thinking that raw fish (or indeed, any animal protein at all) is synonymous with sushi. It is not. Sashimi is raw fish. Chances are you find raw fish to be disgusting. All sushi rolls don't even have nori (seaweed). Otherwise you are basically saying that you find rice to be disgusting at which point I can say nothing but, "wtf?"
dynky 3
exactly! vegetarian sushi is delicious.
mintcar 10
Because we're two different people. And because we're different, my sense of taste differs from yours. SHOCKING!
MC_Cracker 0
just rice is onigiri sushi involves fish or octopus etc... read it up before u say something stupid.
resinnet 0
Are you talking about rice balls? Cause last time I checked, some sushi's actually do have seaweed. You can 'wtf' yourself
skateking133 0
win
hotncool 0
sushi is not fckin rice u jack wagon omg sushi is raw fish u moron hello knock on wood ask any fckin assimilation or Chinese restaurant they'll tell yo silly ass that sushi is raw fish look it up silly ass mental lmao haha
Hump_Zilla 0
119 you call them a moron when they are right...there are all kinds of sushi and not all have fish....also it's Japanese not Chinese...so in fact you are the moron
boopityboppity 11
I can't help but wonder what was going through 119's mind (it certainly wasn't staying there; there clearly isn't much room) when he or she posted that comment. I bet it went something like this: like omg this s such a gooder idea then my usually ones people will like adore me
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
boopity! Your imitation of the unfortunate 119's thought process is rather.. enchanting. Like a crude sketch etched into the wall of some prehistoric cave, it has a sort of primitive beauty.. as if it was the found art of the Internet. The idiot haiku.
ALERI0N 0
22 you dumbass do you even know what a vegan is?
rockhound 0
192 well said. lmao
julliandesu 0
just rice isnt onigiri.... onigiri is regular rice with really anything inside ive lived in japan all my life so no judging please sushi isnt always fish either. and theyre not always raw..... sashimi is with raw fish! 君達は、分かってるよう分かってねぇんだよ。日本の文化を馬鹿にしないでくれる?
zombiedroogie138 0
poor guy! haha
6sick6 4
Dexter FTW!
zombiedroogie138 0
or not.
sinnedrebel 0
u don't like anal? sounds like he should be the one posting a FML about gf who don't like anal.
InCrediFuqAmaZin 0
win
caester9 0
I moderated this
tweetbaby14 18
good for you. want a trophy?
tdotgirl1 0
your pic is epic
caester9 0
stfu noone likes you
TheTrollrCoaster 2
Do you moderate the bathrooms at taco bell as well?
ktbird 0
No one gives a shit what you moderated. Clicking a button doesn't make you special.
tweetbaby14 18
last time I checked, getting a bunch of people to like me on an app isn't an accomplishment of any kind. it's actually pretty lame.
robo_panda 0
zing!
sinnedrebel 0
you don't like anal? sounds like he should be the one posting FML about GF who don't like anal.
Noyes654 0
just take it in the butt, its really not that bad.. besides, at least he does have a big one like me
cartez2gs 3
I say you guys trade. hell it all will stink in the end!!!!
kristir9426 0
your picture is awful
pooper19 3
nice ass
riggens7522 0
I hope that's not really u
cdatribe23 0
hahahha ur picture us pretty savage hahah
cartez2gs 3
nah that ain't me. but y'all women wish y'all had booty cheeks like that!!