Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Today, while licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn't have referred to her breasts as pancakes. FML
Today, my boyfriend let it slip that he thinks of my best friend when he masturbates because he like to have the "freedom and variety." FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
Sweet.
toelie 26
There's just no pleasing some women. Be happy his fantasy features you at all.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (199)
TheMystery13 13
There are so many worse things you could be swimming in.
splashface1 10
At least he's thinking about you instead of Aunt Jemima
lesbionist 10
Sexy
elizacandle 29
At least he's masturbating to you, which is unfortunately a lot more than many of us can say.
rtm13228 7
Is he Canadian?
Nederlander95 14
Is he Canadian?
coolbeans444 1
Good god!
xoxostitchesxoxo 5
That sounds pretty pleasant to me, don't see what your complaining about
aelitalyoko 14
I found the Canadian.
yahtzeesouls 12
YDI for not doing this as well