Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said it's like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
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Top comments
YoStephy123 0
Kinky.
aback 5
So dress up like a cop. ...on second thought, an "under the bed" doughnut would be a dealbreaker, anyway.
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Comments (297)
lobby0ne 0
wtf! and you still got banged?
madZONE_fml 0
WTF? sex+food=happiness.
Vitamin_C 0
... well you slept with him so it was clearly a great donut. I hope you get a fritter next time. OMG or those blueberry blossom things at Timmy's!!
mollie1 0
I'd like to know what else is under the bed... will it always be a donut? maybe next time there will be a hairy piece of steak, or some of that green, fluffy-Mormon salad. You have to go back and do him again (don't care if you ARE an 11 year old) and report back to FML. Don't forget your spermicidal JELLY- goes in your donut hole.
balor_fml 0
Yeah, seriously, why is everyone complaining? Just do nut worry about it.
Jim9349 10
how is this shit funny? **** the writer.. this is fake as hell...
fyl8847 0
that sounds like a good thing. i'd be damn pumped if i got food and sex. you should post this on mylifeisG.com . legit
mattmag 0
That's ******* awesome. Sex AND doughnuts? I bet Krispy Kreme employees get laid 24/7.
NorfolkDude 2
Well... did you eat it?
O_ol0l 0
You got yourself a feeder my love. Feed up the girls, more cushion for the pushin'