Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said it's like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
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Top comments
YoStephy123 0
Kinky.
aback 5
So dress up like a cop. ...on second thought, an "under the bed" doughnut would be a dealbreaker, anyway.
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Comments (297)
pineapples_fml 5
this guy sounds like a real catch, keep dating him- see what happens. who knows, you could eventually have that big, beautiful wedding you always wanted in a pastry shop!
turdburgers 0
I think I have a new favorite fml.
777_alex_777 0
3 questions: 1. O.o huh?? 2. why did he have a doughnut under his bed? 3. did u eat it?
jeane123 6
why he do that? thats what i dont get!!
AAAAHHHH12 2
If you're hungry at night and are too lazy to go to the kitchen, under the bed has to be the next best place for food, obviously! Ahahah
777_alex_777 0
o.o..... thx 4 the idea! =D
wolfy_fml 5
Some men are called 'feeders' and have a fetish to feed women or to watch them eating and gaining weight. There are even websites out there where guys pay money to see a large lady in lingerie eating whatever they tell her to. I saw it once on Tyra.
DameGreyWulf 1
I would like to mention that it is awesome that not only does he have a food fetish, he has an AGGRESSIVE food fetish ("snarling, "eat it, eat it!""). Or am I the only one who finds that awesome? Unless it's actually a fat fetish. Oh boy, no wonder he was so determined!; You must be skinny as a rail lol Not so awesome anymore, though, I guess now I can see a possible route to FYL.
omgitzadrienne 0
lmfao, this is soo great. you just made my day.
slimy2 0
LUCKY!!!! I wish i had a doughnut!
Guitarist45 0
dude, this is a double win for you. but this is hilarious. this made my day
Shyman4ever 0
Free donuts, you should be thankful