Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said it's like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
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Top comments
YoStephy123 0
Kinky.
aback 5
So dress up like a cop. ...on second thought, an "under the bed" doughnut would be a dealbreaker, anyway.
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Comments (297)
JBE44 0
WTF!!!!!!!!
mollie1 0
I wonder if there will always be a donut under the bed or if next time there will be a price of hairy steak, and maybe some of that delicious green, fluffy Mormon jello salad. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to go back and find out what else is on the menu!
AAAAHHHH12 2
Eat the damn doughnut! :D
thebigslim 13
The only donut that should be eaten in the room.... is yours. When in doubt, smear yourself with some glaze and sprinkles, I guarantee you he will eat that donut until there is a nice cream filling =P
blondeatheartoh9 0
LMAO!!! I laughed so hard LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
ohFawkYou 0
"eat it, eat it" did you eat it ? LOL !! :D
jam_21 0
One word- THIEF! YDI
cmac86 24
ydi for thinking you found a catch in a jock. save yourself for marriage you dumb ****.
jam_21 0
sorry, my comment got posted on the wrong FML. Was supposed to be on the one about the lotion/body wash.... weird!
poeticpunk77 0
when did she say it was a jock? don't be an ass just because you're all high and mighty with your morals jerk
inspireme48 0
either hes fat or ur nasty
theshinepolice 0
"do nut" hahahah :]
gothymama 0
Or he likes fat chicks and is trying to fatten her up.