Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said it's like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
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Top comments
YoStephy123 0
Kinky.
aback 5
So dress up like a cop. ...on second thought, an "under the bed" doughnut would be a dealbreaker, anyway.
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Comments (297)
noonecaresurfat 0
So wait you got sex and doughnuts? Sounds like a pretty awesome night I don't see how this is an fml.
khanartist 0
hahahah xD either that guy really pulled an al bundy or your bsing...either way xD great memories from a great show lol
dcstream 0
Wait, so you get sex with a guy you like AND a free doughnut? Where's the problem here?
leahlovesya121 0
HAHAHAHAHA
MusicMayhem 0
I'm suddenly reminded of the lyrics from the Avenged Sevenfold song "A Little Piece of Heaven". This line is from the song: "Eyes over easy, eat it, eat it, eat it!" Either way, fake or real, someone knows this song, I'm sure. The singer snarls in the song.
plexico 4
The song I was suddenly reminded of was by "Weird Al" Yankovic.
sublime93 0
Must have stabbed her, fifty ******* timessssss ripped his heart out right before her eyes eyes over easy :D
plexico 4
I like these lyrics better: Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it Get yourself an egg and beat it Have some more chicken, have some more pie It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it
gothymama 0
Have a banana Have a whole bunch It doesn't matter What you had for lunch Just eat it, eat it, eat it Eat it, eat it, eat it!
Haraxius 0
one word to describe the connection to Weird Al - "roflicious"
hothotheat_ 13
She was never this good in bed even when she was sleepin' now she's just so perfect I've never been quite so ******* deep in (;
LTO73 0
xD... so I'm not the only one. :)
kukopia 0
Sounds to me like a wet dream she had after eating sweets to try and fill the sexual void in her life.
Gadget3440 0
YDI: from the structure it sounds like you still had sex with him. Eat it! Cause it's obviously foreplay
I_am_stupid_also 6
Did he shove into into your mouth with his hand or with his donut holder?
evilevi 0
As long as he didn't put it around his penis and told you to "eat your way through" you shouldn't be complaining.
HellBorn 0
Are you sure it was a donut he shoved in your mouth or something else that was "cream filled?"
plexico 4
To me, if the donut was a day-old or more: Creeper loser, get the hell away. If the donut was fresh, does this guy have a sister with the same "catch?" If so, let's double-date!