Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I broke my ankle jumping from a second story window. Turns out, the person my girlfriend has saved in her phone as "Mom" is her very jealous and “estranged” husband, who apparently knew about me, and was waiting on the opportunity to catch us. She giggled as I jumped out the window. FML
Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML
Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend back to my place, but my abusive, homeless dad, who I haven’t spoken to in a year, had broken in to have sex with some woman in my front room, before both passing out on heroin. My girlfriend saw my dad's penis and drug stuff, and left me to clean him up. FML
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Top comments
givants 0
hey, look T the bright side... you had sex dude, with a princess!!!
perdix 31
Did he drive you in a car, or with a golf club? Those SEALs are legendarily tough.
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Comments (118)
x805xUnknown 6
(First) Wow, that sucks, really bad. Well at least you made it to the E.R.??
pongmaster 0
Yeah I agree at least you made it to the ER he could have just kicked your ass and left you
lolfmlfail 0
ur lucky your still alive
pipp360 0
I don't see why dads get so bentbout of shape about that stiff. it's natual.how do they think they got there kids?!!!!!!
natedog193 0
bet that was one hell of a ride
_whoops 0
its too bad he didnt beat you...lol well wait until you have a daughter of your own and lets see how you like it... im sure you will tell them to not stop and do it in your home ^^
rjhoney 0
dads get mad cuz they don't want them to get pregnant or get stds,trust me,when your a dad u will understand.and alot of adults stand for abstanance(I sort of do too).
heartdeestar 0
ur hot
DetLions32 6
Why would he run?
Monkey_Man_03 0
yeah with prob more than just the broken ankle.
xanniefiend420 0
gotta be sneakier dude... try like hiding under the bed or in the closet or somthin. or actually making it out the door.
iloveloosy12 0
and not falling
xxhappyninjaxx 0
"and he's trapped in closet"
nkklllll 4
that's a win
isallwaysme 27
i hid in a closet once. her mom had a rampage through her room and eventually found me.. thought i was gonna die
perdix 31
Did he drive you in a car, or with a golf club? Those SEALs are legendarily tough.
pedosmurf 7
They are but just because they are trained to kill doesn't mean he will beat the shit out of the kid he is still under eighteen I think
Hanban 0
I'd probably try to start a conversation. But then, he's a Navy Seal... FYL.
Phallus_fml 0
sounds as if you found this stranger girl on the street, lured her into having sex with you and blah blah blah. boring.
givants 0
hey, look T the bright side... you had sex dude, with a princess!!!
kaycox3 0
hahaha this made me laugh more then the fml.
Yessii 0
haha:D
WTFjizzinmypantz 0
what a wierdo ^^
UmBongos 3
What a wierdo? ^^
cooly1100 0
that just sucks ass but it funny as hell though
uhohuscrewedup 0
hey atleast u don't have to run from him anymore.