Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said it's like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
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Top comments
YoStephy123 0
Kinky.
aback 5
So dress up like a cop. ...on second thought, an "under the bed" doughnut would be a dealbreaker, anyway.
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Comments (297)
snzizle 0
i don't get the problem. sex and free donuts...
lol123mely 0
LOL
Kydro 0
Well atleast you don't have to worry about him having to provide food . .
waterynuggets 0
Exactly
pinkuggs4ever 0
That's so so creepy. I would have like spit it out and said what. Ew. He pulled it out from under his mnatress. That's nasty.
plethora 3
My thoughts exactly. A+ to #18 and #138.
I_HAVE_A_BIG_DIC 0
ydi for having sex in canada.
Talonaran 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyfcOriVKBM I suddenly thought of this song
SarahRawrRoar 0
lmao, #195, my thoughts exactly.
youaresofucked 0
this sounds fake.
Us3rNam3 0
@ broken_princess: 1st sentence - "Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing." Says right there she had sex with him, how can you take that any other way?
HeroicDude 0
Maybe you're just too skinny in his opinion, and he wanted to feed you.
Cesilia 0
Point being, was the sex before, after, or during the doughnut?