Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said it's like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML
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Top comments
jack_jill05 14
At least he kind of called you hot.
uhhSavage 22
My fiancé works at a cookie store so I know how he feels.
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Comments (148)
jack_jill05 14
At least he kind of called you hot.
mz135 12
Well then
incoherentrmblr 22
I can only imagine how Homer Simpson would react...
brandoneyez1 25
Hot like a doughnut lol
NicH1799 20
You beat me to it.
sayyestothedress 24
I was just about to say that!!
joeyl2008 29
Hey, anything to please your man.
Z3R0G5 23
I heard that in Si's voice from Duck Dynasty
fuckyourlifeOP 25
#38, what?! Didn't know Si was gay. lol
torbey 23
I'd take it as a compliment OP. Donut's are sexy. So you're sexy, your man is happy and it's a win for all.
Mystery_Unsolved 16
#93, of all things people call sexy, I never imagined donuts as one of them..
uhhSavage 22
My fiancé works at a cookie store so I know how he feels.
amisenho 11
The same thing happened to my boyfriend when I worked at a movie theater; I always came home smelling like buttered popcorn and nachos. You know what they say; the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
TM24D 15
Im sorry but at least he appreciates you!
zandalee 20
Sounds like a win win situation to me!
tayymeds 23
To each their own, at least he's not repelled by it.
gigie2_fml 11
I think it is adorable :)
MACARONInCHEESE 10
He can probably glaze at you all day..
chinaski7628 32
And sprinkle her with affection.
GentlemanBastard 15
If she's from New England, she could end up filled with Boston Creme.
OnlyAvailableID 28
Let's just hope that he doesn't prefer her to have a jam filling.
23lf 16
What?
weswheatley 14
How old are you?
fuckyourlifeOP 25
I'm sure there's a couple of donut holes he can fill with his Krispy Kreme
little_one 20
#43 Mmmmm I love boston creams they are my favourite!
MACARONInCHEESE 10
#68 Why do you want to know?
amisenho 11
STOP RUINING DOUGHNUTS FOR ME! *sobs in corner while clutching a chocolate-glazed doughnut*
Memma_fml 14
Now I want some doughnuts. Thanks guysss
mld4657 28
yummy
narnianstars 8
F#*k her right in the donut hole
tygerarmy 35
Then she becomes a Boston Creme.
Bentonic 11
I dunno guys, I'm pretty jelly of him.
fuckyourlifeOP 25
Let's just hope she doesn't get a yeast infection.
martin8337 36
Same thing as if she cooked fries all day, yummy;-).
kingdomgirl94 29
But with more sweat and grease