Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML
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Top comments
Maggey 19
The sixth conversation is when it's time to dump the pitcher on him while he sleeps.
trollcrusher 17
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
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Comments (73)
trollcrusher 17
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
AGhost5445 25
Maybe he's helping people with drug tests
iMeowzAlot 8
At least OP's roommate does it in his room.
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
Call up Bear, he'll drink it!
gojira666 7
Your house, your rules. If its not ur house, mind your own business.
jessaiee 17
I hope you didn't forget and end up using that pitcher for drinks sometime later...
DLBL 23
But you don't have to then store it in your room,
briangliboff 12
second!
Qandol 26
Here i have cookies for you then. Stupid
trollcrusher 17
I'm sorry you didn't find my comment humorous, as I gather you were upset by it. My apologies.
doctorhook86 25
Put a hole in the container. Once some of his stuff gets damaged by his own piss, maybe he'll clue in why normal people don't do this...
Prettygirlnswag 5
Boys be gross!
Qandol 26
Boys will be boys. Good luck OP with you're roommate
onlychildFTW 34
Yeah some boys can be gross. Like OPs roommate. Not all boys are that gross, no, not that DISGUSTING. That'll smell the whole place up over time. Believe me I know.
Kibaruto 33
2 Girls 1 Cup, Blue Waffle and Tub Girl. My point here is done.
wastingtimeonFML 7
Guys, it isn't only boys that can be gross! Girls can be disgusting too, let's not stereotype. :)
JoeRogansBEARD 15
42 I had no idea wtf tub girl was and I googled it... I'm going to go cry in the corner now
OoLogicalOo 4
Some boys are gross, yes, but some girls are also. Some humans chose to be what society labels as gross. They usually live in trailers though... Haha, No, but really a lot of people are different and I sure wouldn't want to live with someone who pees into a pitcher.
DomDomxoxo 16
42: you made me google blue waffle and tub girl... I'm going to join 56.
legitkitty 11
Guys can get blue waffles too you know. But it's, ah, "different". Not very blue, if you know what I mean haha *pukes*
unlucky90 4
Your picture be gross. Never heard of tub girl but of course I had to look it up....and I knew I would regret it
AugustBurnsToast 14
How lazy can you get! What's with people pissing in containers?
buck33 14
Someone did that in my dorms. I was at a camp at a university and my roommate got up to go to the bathroom. I look in the hall and I see a bottle filled with piss! It was actually pretty funny.
Maggey 19
The sixth conversation is when it's time to dump the pitcher on him while he sleeps.
dead_insects 18
Couldn't agree more...LOL!
yahoowizard 16
Might have been at the second conversation for most of us, but sixth works, too
OoLogicalOo 4
What a great way to lose value and gain smell...
briangliboff 12
maybe he puts it in your food/drink if ya piss him off o.o
_ebbonyy 11
He sounds like a pleasant chap to live with :)
jtthegr8 26
What does "chap" refer to, like i never got what that was..
_ebbonyy 11
it's another word for 'guy' 'man' 'bloke' etc
onlychildFTW 34
You really should have been able to tell that by context if you didn't know it in the first place.
perdix 31
I hope your question was, "Where can I find a lot of fresh pee?" I feel your roommate could really answer that one with authority.
everydayFML2121 5
With over a pint of urine in there I doubt the majority of it is fresh. So the question should have been, "do you happen to have any old to moderately fresh piss I could borrow?" That would have been right up his alley.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I know a guy who keeps his **** in containers, so that he could donate to a sperm bank. He seemed pretty upset when I told him that sperm dies after about a week. Later, somebody dared him to drink it. He did. FML.
bizarre_ftw 22
Well that's your own fault! It's common knowledge that the first thing you do when you bring a new, animal into your home is house train him! Rub his nose in it? Or shake some coins - careful though, he may shit on the rug
FuckYourProblems 6
Although 13's comment was quite bizzare, last time I checked, roommates are humans and humans are mammals.
n1988e 8
I'm sure 13 knows what a roommate is. She's comparing his behavior to an animal cause normal human wouldn't piss wherever they please. They use the toilet!
rin142 12
Were 39 and I the only one to see the sarcasm and goofy humor in that comment? Lighten up, people.
asherm 15
No I got it too
Cowboy1986 4
29&34 are dumbasses
ManInTheMachine 20
I'm glad some of you got the joke, but I can't believe all of you missed the FML reference at the end. 'Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosove diahrea on the carpet in fright. FML' I'm going to go cry in a corner now.
Bluekaren16 19
Well then you are going to have to take drastic measures to make him stop.