Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Hangover time
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Close call
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML
Can't handle my drinks
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Three piss suite
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Keep it down
Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Partaaaaay!
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Top comments
ambowew 7
Really? You'd rather piss in a pot plant than simply ignore everyone while you walk to the toilet.
Tarak_fml 7
Why exactly did that seem like a good idea?
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Comments (172)
ambowew 7
Really? You'd rather piss in a pot plant than simply ignore everyone while you walk to the toilet.
rkmepm 16
Yes.
hinchkongfang 0
So not only are you antisocial, but you also murdered a pot plant and a t shirt... And is it wise to have a pit plant big enough to piss in near your bed? Plants generate CO2 at night, you could suffocate!!
KoolKidFly 0
Also, you are lazy for saying "I didn't feeling like socializing." Grammar failure.
KoolKidFly 0
Either that or you're smashed xD
EvilPotato 15
You could of just killed everyone in the room.
swimchica22 0
11- your an idiot. Plants generate OXYGEN. hence why we can live on this planet. How did you ever make it passed the fourth grade?! And second, the pot wasn't big enough.. That's why the piss SPILLED. Gosh...what is the world coming to...
TheDarkCynder 2
Hear that whooshing sound, 26? That was the joke going right over your head.
Garyy_fml 11
Actually 11 they produce oxygen and OP produces CO2. They turn CO2 into oxygen. Have you been to 4th grade yet little boy?
airforce987 20
Socially Akward Penguin much?
dcaruso 1
Wow - really - they generate co2 at night which is why it is actually suggested not to have too many plants in ur room while I sleep. Though I agree with the size comment.
grad2011 0
Actually plants produce carbon dioxide at night as a result of cellular respiration
ryukensfj 5
At all the idiots that haven't taken a biology class: Plants absorbs co2 and produces o2 as long as there's light. Once there is no more light they switch to producing co2 almost like the same way animals do. They however absorbs much more co2 then it produces.
ryukensfj 5
#11, It's funny seeing all the idiots thumbing you down. But you're also wrong about suffocating, the plant doesn't produce a lot of co2 at night, it's much less than an animal. Are you going to suffocate because you have a roommate or a pet in your house?
hinchkongfang 0
oh Christ people, plants only generate oxygen during the DAYTIME. I actually remember a PSA from the 70s telling people not to sleep in a closed room with plants. Perhaps a little research before the criticisms start flying hmmm?? And yes, I passed 4th grade biology, thanks for asking... But did you??
hinchkongfang 0
Oh, and 26 and 33, you're a pair of ******* idiots... And it's PAST, not PASSED.... Sheesh...
hinchkongfang 0
And it's YOU'RE, a contraction of YOU ARE, not YOUR... Perhaps a revisit to the 4th grade might be beneficial, you might learn something this time...
DynamicDave 11
^ Owned
KronikSplakkn 4
After you went to sleep I hope you dreamed about being less of a dumbass .
Starcatch77 20
Plants generate oxygen...
trevishere 7
33 - We're talking about piss, you're talking about breath, go away.
SystemofaBlink41 27
I wonder if R. Kelly is somwhere in OP's family
swimchica22 0
61- Oh stop being such a ******* grammar nazi...
TurdTickler4eva 0
That made me lol nice bro
theaws0m3guy 4
This FML is a bunch of bullshit....
AffrontedFetus 0
Actually 26 and 33 plants do use oxygen at night. You two may have been to fourth grade but obviously didn't make it as far as 7th or 8th. 11 a pot plant doesn't have to be that big to piss on and even if it was it wouldn't use up that much oxygen.
hinchkongfang 0
112, stop being such a ******* confrontational idiotic dickbag!!! At least get your facts straight before you tear a person down... For ***** sake!!! You and 33 deserve eachother... Between both of you, you might have enough braincells to make a below average idiot feel like Einstein!!
FatRoll 6
I see, someone was lucky to get through the 4th grade...
attaboy368 20
does it really matter if he has the plants in his room while you sleep, i assume in your room?
eragon2262 6
he never said it was a pot plant. but it sounds better that way, gives him an excuse for doing something on that level of retard.
kristirhong 12
Plants don't produce CO2...
Tarak_fml 7
Why exactly did that seem like a good idea?
howdmynosego 12
And then ops roomie walks in to introduse him
MrKlutch 1
Shutup
MrKlutch 1
I bet op has alot of friends
attaboy368 20
now that would have been funny, Hey roomie my hot friend wants to meet you man! Oh well we can come back when you are not other wise occupied..........
rkmepm 16
wow you would have been pissed off
RebekahBrooke 9
whoa-ho-ho be careful with that joke, its an antique.
13FTW 9
3... That wasn't even the proper time for such a joke.
rkmepm 16
yes it was. clearly somethings wrong with you if you cant understand ops post
RebekahBrooke 9
If he had said something about a 'shitty' situation, then it wouldn't make sense. But it still sucked.
rkmepm 16
True dat ^^
ricinator 11
^^ you're just contradicting yourself now...
rkmepm 16
Chime out boy
DCFan 9
Cool story. Tell another one about how lazy you are.
deathbreadstick 10
Nah. He's too lazy.
ShakeMeDown 12
27 - you have a rat on your shoulder.
massnerder420 4
Shoulda used a Gatorade bottle like normal people.
irritatedone 5
No dude. Normal people use a toilet. You don't have to socialize to go use it.
13FTW 9
I use a baby bottle then drink if after cause, my name is bear grylls.
massnerder420 4
No dude. It was sarcasm.
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
I drink my pee because it's sterile and I like the taste.
natashax21 5
And I drink soda....does that make me abnormal?
Ressamies 6
-94 lol, it seems no one got you "Dodgeball" movie reference
ElmoTouchesMe 4
Patches o'Hoolihan!!!
Blueglasscup 18
You're a whole new level of antisocial OP. Should have just gone to the damn toilet and gone back to your room! You didn't even need to say hi.
xSynergY 8
Thanks for taking us back into the stone age
DocBastard 40
I had no idea that they cultivated potted plants and wove fabric to make shirts in the Stone Age. I just learned something.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Oh yes Doc, but they didn't want others copying them, so they destroyed all the blueprints and records of them.
xSynergY 8
Lol! I bet for him it would be possible. Nice comment ^^
Theplayachick_fml 0
Poor plant I bet you shit and throw that under your bed .......... Gags
Enslaved 38
Wow, you really didn't want to socialize, did you? Lol It would be funnier if it was a fake plant. (: