Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I poured myself a glass of Coke from the bottle in the fridge. While drinking it, I saw tiny pieces floating in it. Apparently, my boyfriend had drunk straight from the bottle in the morning, felt sick and threw up. He then put the bottle back in the fridge. I just drank my boyfriend's vomit. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's in a back room that wasn’t connected to the main house. I really had to pee, but neither of us wanted to go into the house, so he told me to just go outside in a cup. I ended up having diarrhea in a cup in my boyfriend's backyard. FML
Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
The fact that the soda can was on the floor and already opened already sounded suspicious to begin with.
Tripartita 45
Well, now you know why the toilet is always filled with soda.
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Comments (22)
Tripartita 45
Well, now you know why the toilet is always filled with soda.
maikeru1979 23
don't feel to bad OP. I have done this as well, granted it was 14 years ago and I was way beyond drunk(0.36 BAC. actually had alcohol poisoning from that night). So just remember you were not the first to ever do it nor will you be the last person to ever do it.
Meh45 8
If it's not yours, don't touch it. If it is yours, always be careful.
Tripartita 45
The FML comments section always has the BEST sex tips.
Glowworm56 27
The fact that the soda can was on the floor and already opened already sounded suspicious to begin with.
RichardPencil 32
You’re lucky it was only Mello Yello and not Cream Soda.
T1A2Z3 35
As it's her boyfriend, I think she would have preferred to drink his cum...
19mackay92ally 4
how small is his penis?
Friesian 7
Dudes don’t need to stick their entire dicks in a container to piss in it...
PenguinPal3017 19
I bet this guy puts his penis inside the toilet to pee in it. You know you can pee into things, you don't need to put your dick inside.
19mackay92ally 4
thanks for the info pal i only wanted to know because i've never been that lazy/disgusting to piss in a can and leave it
WeirdUS 30
To pee in the opening of a soda can you either have to have amazing control and aim or your dick is very small and you were able to fit it in. If he’s able to do that without getting pee everywhere I’m guessing he’s had a lot of practice that’s pretty nasty
Danishduckling 20
Or just.. you know, hold the tip tight to the opening of the can? that'd probably work just fine.
evilplatypus 39
I’m a woman and could do this no problem. How friggin shitty is your aim?
NataXviaggiare 11
i say marry that guy
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Why would you drink from a can on the floor, anyway? If you didn't put it there, God knows where it could have come from, who could drank out of it... or could have peed in it.
Lobby_Bee 18
Bear Grylls would be proud of you. You are a survivor!