Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML
Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML
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Top comments
Blue_Black_fml 21
I would have wrote HIM off after that "what's up bitch"! It's rude, not laid-back..
lyssgross 16
Oh, the guys that think they're so gangsta. FYL, OP.
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Comments (143)
lyssgross 16
Oh, the guys that think they're so gangsta. FYL, OP.
MissBoo111 21
Yea and sadly it is so hard to find one that isn't a Jack@$$ nowadays. FYL OP!
Nordrag 26
What's with the '@$$' thing. I mean, it makes no difference other than looking retarded. I guess there are some things I'll just never understand.
Zomg_Okay 27
43 - In addition to that, the website is called **** My Life. Nobody is going to get their knickers in a twist if you don't censor "ass".
RedPillSucks 33
ouch! My knickers just bunched up!!!
AKGirlinSD 20
60, I suggest you start unbunching then :-).
tjv3 10
Yeah YDI for not walking away at his first comment
depocadoll 15
Maybe he just didn't like what he saw, and wanted to make you not want to see him anymore. Might be a little harsh, but not everyone cares about what's on the inside as much as they want to like what's on the outside. Sorry about that, OP. Either way, I think you dodged a bullet, and your future hubby will be happy you did (;
Kaoticwolf 17
spot the feminist
Blue_Black_fml 21
I would have wrote HIM off after that "what's up bitch"! It's rude, not laid-back..
rg350dx 29
It sounds more like haggling with a prostitute than first date conversation. Are those real? And how much do I have to pay to have sex with you?
17This_Is_Me17 8
I know . I wish OP could explain how saying "what's up bitch ?" is just being 'laid-back' .
xAkonz 10
That's why I say YDI.
Zimmington 21
But maybe he said it in his "laid back" French accent. Who can resist that?
imyy 20
Maybe it was Tucker Max...
KBurns207 17
Really though. Besides even if he was "laid back", you don't act like that on a first date. Like Chris Rock said, "On a first date, you are the ambassador of you. You're not even allowed to act like yourself"
lmngrl889 14
that's exactly what I was going to say. after the "what's up, bitch" bit I'd be out of there! what an idiot! FYL op and better luck next time!
cmac86 24
"what's up bitch?" "I'm sorry you must be mistaking me for someone else " that's how long i would have let it last.
SevenZee 5
Me and my boyfriend talk to eachother like that all the time. We also did before we went out. It CAN be a sign of being laid back and typically if someone says that with a smile, I'll think they're nice and laid back. So far I have yet to have a case like OP. all of me have become my good friends
Raesin 21
It's ok because the abuse is mutual, yay. Seriously? On another note, my brother is in a similar relationship where they call each other all the names under the sun. He calls her a fat slag and she calls him a bald twat. After 14 years of marriage he's starting to think about divorce, mostly because she stole all his money and he's cheated on her. Lesson of the day: people that treat other people like that are very rarely nice people.
Futacy 30
Very true. The only "B" word you should ever call a woman is "beautiful." Bitches love being called beautiful.
WhoWhat_fml 10
I am not sure if he is the one for you...
sluttyMouth 3
Agreed, FML needs a "you're better off" option.
davincidasecond 24
YBO? Hm, I like it.
brainsoverbeauty 21
Never allow a man to address you that way. Regardless of his personality, you should believe you deserve more. My response would have been to leave right then and there.
starsfan326 12
Lol after the greeting why would you even stick around? You like being treated like shit?
AninOnin 24
In case you didn't read the entire FML, it was because she "wrote it off" as him being super chill. Though I would never tolerate that greeting, whether or not he was just laid-back.
RpiesSPIES 27
No, Chill Penguin is Chill. This guy was/is a douchewaffle.
drkate25 30
thumbs up just for the term "douchewaffle"
False_Stupidity 42
She stuck around for the free dinner of course.
mangoboy1 19
A lot of women like being treated like shit.(I think)
wowlolreally 12
Ok on to the next one
dangousity 21
Wow, how horrible!
rg350dx 29
Right?! Way to leave us hangin on if they're real or not! Geez...
Pesticides 19
op should be happy knowing that her jugs are big enough to where she could pass off as fake.
jc10x 8
Wow that ua really rude, you can do better OP im sure.
meggieeee92 15
Should have known after the "what's up bitch" comment! That's not a good way to start a date...
Grayness_ 26
No shit he just wanna hit it and quit it. Maybe hit it hit it hit it and quit it.
radmuffin 12
I'm starting to notice a trend with your comments. Please do us all a favor and step away from the keyboard. Don't come back until you've learned to not be a douche.
AboveAll04 14
yeah #10 misspelled his own name, it was supposed to be gayness