Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML
Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML
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Top comments
Blue_Black_fml 21
I would have wrote HIM off after that "what's up bitch"! It's rude, not laid-back..
lyssgross 16
Oh, the guys that think they're so gangsta. FYL, OP.
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Comments (143)
Bangi 8
Sounds like my ex!
gregnc_fml 18
This was not a guy, man and certainly not a gentleman. I'm surprised you continued the date after the introduction. Good luck in the future.
Erery 16
Um laid back? More like ******* rude. Sorry you kinda deserved this one, you're the one that stuck around after he called you a bitch.
theifunnyguy 6
the guy is a bitch but never blind date
nvo 6
classy.
Bcfrmkc816 17
Don't judge all men the same that's not right. Some of us are gentlemen and know how to treat a woman right.
soapmactavish82 8
I get this odd feeling that you're going to date him more and eventually marry him....good luck
ChuckSwayze 4
"What's up bitch"???? I'm sorry OP, but I see no rationalization in a greeting like that, especially coming from a complete stranger trying to impress you. At least you got to see what kind of person he was early though
kitty292 9
Your first clue that it was going to be a fail should've been the use of bitch ten seconds after you met.
Fuhkyoo 17
sounds like he could use a deaf date instead