Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML
Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML
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Top comments
Blue_Black_fml 21
I would have wrote HIM off after that "what's up bitch"! It's rude, not laid-back..
lyssgross 16
Oh, the guys that think they're so gangsta. FYL, OP.
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Comments (143)
flashback.miss 28
Should've shoved his face in the dessert, and kneed him in the balls to see if they were real.
olpally 33
Total superficial asshole right there. Just move along. Good god :/
challan 19
Who in the hell set you up with him? Sounds like a great friend.
TheDrifter 24
No kidding, I'd worry about what my friends think of me if that's what they tried to set me up with.
AshleyScruggs 14
Someone with awful taste in men.
heresIsaac 4
I'm no doctor but I prescribe that man a serious case of being a ****.
Nordrag 26
That's the diagnosis not the necessary prescription. I recommend prescribing a swift kick to the nuts.
purebliss_fml 19
Yeah I wouldn't be seeing him ever again O.P... That ******** is not 'laid back' he's just a ********.
Jemm_fml 29
You should have left the moment he opened his mouth.
chocolatefrog28 29
Example A of what's wrong with society/youth culture lately. I'm 25, and I can't turn my head in my peer group lately without hearing about "swag" or "bitches" every other minute, and more sentences end in "yolo" than don't. Manners and tact and intelligence are exceedingly rare these days, I'm sorry you experienced someone with 0% of any of the three.
TheDrifter 24
I'm not sure that's a bad thing, twenty something year old girls obsessed with swag and totally devoid of critical thinking skills and self respect have made my dating life much more interesting.
RedPillSucks 33
Actual dating, or just sex. Because dating to me implies spending quality time doing "stuff". If she's just a booty call, then that's not a date. That's hanging with an unpaid prostitute.
Zimmington 21
Maybe you should change your peer group 20. They sound like brainless followers of pop culture. I'm 19 and my peers barely do/say any of that. It all depends on who you choose to hang around. And by the way I'd love to meet your friends they sound like a fun night.
anon_e_m00se 8
Maybe you should try hanging out with actual adults?
yourmurderscenex 13
maybe you need to update your peer group... I'm almost 24 and have yet to hear anyone I hang out with or acquainted with say "swag" or "yolo". I'm curious to know where the people who say these things are... in a ditch somewhere making up new words?
upallnight11 19
He sounds real classy...
17This_Is_Me17 8
Some guys just assume they're just going to get some from a girl . That guy is rude &' disrespectful.
AshleyScruggs 14
What's up with the random apostrophe?
17This_Is_Me17 8
What's up with your random comment about my random apostrophe ?
AshleyScruggs 14
You should know proper grammar/ punctuation at your age, shouldn't you?
AshleyScruggs 14
I'm pretty sure it wasn't a typo. I see her comments on here all the time and she always uses random spaces and punctuation.
Octwo 16
Better start a blog about it. Random apostrophe is serious business.
17This_Is_Me17 8
Is that a problem ? It's a space , get over it. You can still read it just fine , can't you ?
AshleyScruggs 14
I just find it a little ridiculous that you choose to butcher every sentence you type with poor grammar and pointless spaces/ punctuation.
Lil_pink 8
I'd stop talking to him after the "what's up bitch"