Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML
Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML
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Top comments
Blue_Black_fml 21
I would have wrote HIM off after that "what's up bitch"! It's rude, not laid-back..
lyssgross 16
Oh, the guys that think they're so gangsta. FYL, OP.
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Comments (143)
BlissfulLiss 18
At least he was upfront about his personality and didn't waste your time by putting on a fake demeanour only for you to find out later down the road.
Slaught000 9
"He called me a bitch, he's so laid back"---women logic
ImGucci 8
Well when he sees other guys treat girls like that he wanted to test it out for himself
WandaX 16
YDI for finishing the date and not leaving
joopjoop 19
i cant believe you lasted that long...
Zimmington 21
That's what she said
DKjazz 20
Hey chika bum bum.
mete_orito 34
Neither do I. I wonder if this was a joke to OP.
day624 14
"What's up bitch" would have had me out the door immediately
itsnotyourfault 9
That asshole is going to have a hard time finding a good woman
RedPillSucks 33
most likely, he's not looking for a good woman. A fast woman, perhaps. Any hole will do.
XxcaitanatorXx 12
as soon he said bitch i would have left
CeeCee_fml 16
Um, anyone who addresses you for the first time by "What's up, bitch" is not laid-back. That, my friend, is an asshole.
joleigh 6
Well...he's certainly a charmer