Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML
Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that for whatever reason I find it really difficult to orgasm stood up in the shower, she immediately demanded sex in the shower on the basis that without my orgasm maybe I’ll finally last long enough for her to orgasm first, or even at all. FML
Today, right now, for some reason my dad is sat in the living room masturbating. In our house you have to go through the living room to reach the front door, as there's no access to the front of the house if I go out the back to the garden. It’s been a while. If he doesn’t hurry up I’ll be late for work. FML
Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML
Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML
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Top comments
Azalorgm 7
I feel like this needs a follow up
klovemachine 24
If at first you don't succeed, try try again :)
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Comments (94)
vencku 13
YDI. Unless you only shower every three months, you have plenty of opportunity. You can also go at it when you're alone in your room or at night when you're in bed. Seriously, it isn't that difficult to find a time and place.
StanBVB 10
I don't think OP's problem is that they don't have time or space, but rather, they just can't seem to cum at all, even when masturbating.
dawnimus 21
#54 - everyone is different, and some people need more than just their hands to ******. She may not have a vibrator (maybe from personal preference or worries about her family hearing her) so perhaps the only way it'll happen for her is in the shower. Who knows? Don't judge just because you can come easily whenever you like - some people simply aren't built that way.
superabby18 3
How old are you exactly?
MeJazz 7
If you're living with your patents, you shouldn't be having orgasms. Get over it til you have your own place. It's just rude.
gmc_blossom 21
So, because someone lives with their parents... they shouldn't be having orgasms? I wish I would have known this sooner.
ocramavaf 15
tell that to all the 14 year olds in the world
Meld86 12
Some people have fallen on hard times and still live with their parents or move back in with them
limabeans101029 21
62: Seriously? Like someone's already said, not everyone who lives with their parents is young. Many people don't really move out until they're in their 20s- do you really expect them to go through their whole lives up until then without masturbating? And there's not even anything wrong with younger people masturbating. It's natural. There's nothing "rude" about it as long as you aren't doing it on the kitchen table.
frizz101 22
It's not really that hard to wait until you move out and have your own space.
Hiding_from_you 2
Yes it is. Don't be stupid.
lionhardt13 10
Really though, you live with your dad, maybe you should concentrate on moving out first
limabeans101029 21
Why should that mean she shouldn't **********? It's normal! Her dad probably does it too. I don't see the problem.
Meld86 12
Get a vibrator. Problem solved
xMew 7
Please dont hate but, why is it so hard for girls to come?
frdcurly 11
If we knew, we'd all be doing it a lot more.
hazardmuffin 21
Being unfamiliar/uncomfortable with their own bodies or not being able to get into the right mindset are probably the biggest problems. At least that seems to be the common thread I've noticed when talking to other women.
leo812 11
#68 #73 its not, just cause some girls have problems dont mean all do. in fact i cum at least 5 times while having sex for 10 mins. but i used to not be able to, it takes time and the right person. but masterbating for me cant get me off unless i have a vibrator.
boostedc 24
Nice :)
Jaaared_ 15
I can fix that.
dachayke 16
That made me think of the book/movie holes. Which now sounds sexual. "Pick a hole, any hole."
ShinyArcanine 16
Is this actually a legitimate issue for girls? I don't think any guy would ever have this problem
limabeans101029 21
It's not necessarily that she waited 3 months before trying to have an ******, some women just find it really difficult to get them
hottay7164 18
Haha understandable, maybe you need some space too.