Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML
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Top comments
KK3137 31
So I guess you both came in the wrong place at the wrong time..
KuronoEru 26
I'm sorry that you have to avoid your dad for the rest of your life now..
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Comments (99)
KuronoEru 26
I'm sorry that you have to avoid your dad for the rest of your life now..
starile 20
Forget this awkward moment of family bonding--the Real FML is that OP has never orgasmed with a partner before. Our hearts go out to you, OP.
Jinxsie 27
Ugh... Someone needs to invest in a lock.
Cads1 24
Next time, lock the door.
SS 31
Not everyone has a lock on their door.
Cads1 24
Well in that case, expect that someone may walk in when you are going to town on yourself.
gintwinsmoore 20
This could be why there are no locks on the door if she doesn't have locks...dad wants to monitor who comes in and out of her room and rightfully so!
mejustbeingme 4
First, OP doesn't state their gender. Second, how about the father respect their kid and ******* knock instead of everybody telling OP to get a lock.
DrBubbles 7
It's called a 'Door Stop'*drop mic*
Cads1 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If the child was paying rent then I would agree. Otherwise, why should a parent have to knock on a door in their own house?
PePziNL 20
How can you lock the door if doors aren't real? - Jaden Smith
ZombieSazza 34
Not everyone has a lock on their door. A good place is the bathroom as you can lock the bathroom door in most houses.
lexos 16
#72 for reasons like this. Or maybe someone just got out of the shower and is standing naked in his/her room ready to put some clothes on.
thecrizzy 16
Maybe because it's a respectful thing to do?
MissKangaroo 23
Hope you put on a good show at least
KK3137 31
So I guess you both came in the wrong place at the wrong time..
TheBelt 19
Oh the irony.
sunny354wi 8
Ur profile pic is awesome!! Do those store cream and sugar?
iNewKid 20
Well, depends on which place OP was at.
feven 32
Wow that's incredibly mortifying.
bdsmslave 18
"Uh... Hi, Dad... No, it was a seizure. I promise! Coffee, anyone?"
PePziNL 20
It's ectoplasm!
SS 31
Need some clarification. Is OP male or female?
DaggNabbit 8
I feel like that wouldn't matter... parents should at play knock first... wtf
starile 20
#32, doesn't say anywhere that OP is female. Either way, doesn't matter, it's still embarrassing.
aliceanon 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm sorry, that really does suck but I'm sure you will both forget about it with time.
Ramos808 29
Lol, you can't forget something like that. I'm assuming they will eventually talk about it as a joke.
dDailydDosage 8
Or just never speak of it again. Just act like it never happened. Nothing wrong with that.
shemademedoit 20
yeah but a picture is worth a thousand words. don't need to talk about it to not see each other the same anymore
baegirl33 7
That sucks, it will be really awkward to see your dad for awhile now. I reccomend ************ in the bathroom or some place with a lock. Also lock your door unless it doesn't have one.