Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung on the balls by a jellyfish. FML
Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML
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Top comments
F0xyTurtle 8
Lake Sharks!
block1 2
Just throw him in
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Comments (156)
lag96 7
haha
JenDanielle917 13
Is haha the best comment you can think of?
bubble25_fml 5
great, perfect waste of a first comment.
muffins650 1
Shark week will do that.
F0xyTurtle 8
Lake Sharks!
Iamnotmyself 17
-2 Yes because lake sharks are a problem these days, eating all the children and smashing boats to smithereens.
iAmScrubs 19
As a matter of fact, lake sharks are a huge problem. Over 70 people die each year in Canada from lake shark attacks. My uncle Dick Harry happened to be one of those 70 people in 2004. God bless his soul. He was out fishing one day on one of Vancouver's beautiful lakes on July 27, 2004. That was the day he didn't come home. His life was claimed by a lake shark. The only evidence was a single tooth from the monstrous fifty foot shark. Rest in Peace uncle Dick Oversized Harry. You will never be forgotten.
YourEvilHero 12
it would be so odd being a kid and reading my parents fml about me.
NitroTonicsFML 4
I too had friend who was recently claimed by a lake shark. Mike Litoris...you will not be forgotten.
naughtia 14
Bull sharks can survive in fresh water
Jaimegirl 7
Haha, I have a lake too, and the only way a shark could get in there is if someone captured one, deliberately took it to the lake and dropped it in, or it crammed itself through a very small whole where the water is flowing...either way, It's pretty unlikely haha
F0xyTurtle 8
I'm so sorry for your losses. I read a story that was similar. Poor Jack Mehoff was eaten by a lake shark back in 2003...
tylersign 11
33, I think you just made my life. xD
enonymous 9
I taught a school of sharks how to skateboard to freedom... We now have land sharks too...
Denikk 0
Of course, you live in America...
kcircuses2 4
my friend Mike hunt died that same way about two years back he was survived by his wife Dixie Normas
slitherbomb 0
Lake sharks are only indigenous to South America though. Unless someone introduced them to lakes in Canada, I don't think it was a lake shark, and instead was Sarah Palin shot those people, thinking they were moose.
andy_l 14
Well, it was Shark Week, so cut him some slack.
Yngve_fml 9
14!? PUSSY-ALARM!
SCREAM4meeee 0
50- so can great whites! :)
atthegates 0
The person with the next bad fake name comment wins.
Pixxio_O 11
So you beta hide yo kids, hide yo wives and hide yo husbands cuz their eatin' everybody out there!
eshhayz 0
talk about a "jaw-dropping experience" hehehehe
Leadamp 7
my good friend Ben Dover was killed by a lake shark in 2006
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
My grandfather Hugh G. Rection was violently torn to shreds by a lake shark in '95.
fat_snooki_lol 6
And not to forget Mike Litoris' tragic boating/shark accident last year.
22cute 17
This is typical of kids having past life memories. The fear won't go away by reason or teasing. Take him to a good hypnotherapist, please.
Tobias5505 0
it was shark week last week
Tobias5505 0
comment meant for 74
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Actually bullsharks can swim up our rivers into the lake so ur son is smart
slitherbomb 0
136, yeah but a bull shark can just walk over and get in the lake so your comment is invalid :/
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
136- I didn't see ur comment lol bc I just wanted to post my comment without reading everyone else's
BruceL33 0
Ydi for raising a Fuzzbag.
MrleClochard 4
What's wrong with a kid being naïve?
BruceL33 0
That's not naive, that's just stupid.
karagarren 8
not always the parents fault. my mom raised me tough and to not believe in monsters under the bed. I twenty and jump shit when I hear creaks in the night. that kid just sounds like he has the inability to think rationally
BruceL33 0
64- You're a girl though, it's ok to get scared. Boys shouldn't be scared of stupid things.
starwind3438 9
That was a jerk thing to say 84.
andy_l 14
84, I'm sure most guys are scared of crossing swords with another guy, so idk.
BruceL33 0
100 It's true though. Men were made to do stuff that takes courage. Not to let fear control you. Especially when the fear is something as stupid as that.
BruceL33 0
97 Yes, they felt fear, but they fought through it. Cowering behind a towel is letting it overwhelm you.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Guys, it's Bruce Lee. He fears nothing, not even Chuck Norris.
BruceL33 0
110 You don't understand. Feeling fear isn't what I'm talking about. It's acting while under fear. Most women will freeze up. That's why men are in combat units, and the special forces.
xXshadowrollerXx 6
113 - Your logic is aggravating me. Fear doesn't rely on the gender of a person, nor does the ability to accept a challenge, even when they're scared. That's called confidence, and that depends on a person's personality, not their gender. Men are usually found in combat units and special forces because their physical build is superior to that of a woman, not because they're known to "overcome their fears" more often.
BruceL33 0
115 You know what the seals are right? You need mental toughness for that.
BruceL33 0
114 Not shocked, disappointed.Cowering behind a towel, on land. Not even where a shark could get him. Pitiful.
xXshadowrollerXx 6
116 - Of course I know what are the Seals are, a great number of family were/are enlisted. All I'm saying is that you can't say that boys shouldn't be scared of things. If you're going to use the military as an example, they train you to become powerful mentally. You think that Army recruits are the same guys you see months later? No, those guys are just like you or me, and would be scared as shit if they were thrown onto the battlefield right away. They're trained not to have those fears, regardless of what gender they are. Condition a person enough, no matter who they are, and they'll be able to overcome their fears, whether they be male or female.
BruceL33 0
118 Seals have to be mentally tough before they can even go to buds. I doubt anyone in your family was in the seals since you said "a great number", and "enlisted". Normal men are usually mentally tougher too. Man gets punched, he hits back. A woman crys.
ZEPPLIN_fml 3
sexist basterd
BruceL33 0
123 I think woman are just as good as men, but I know men take care of combat for a reason. They're way better nurturers than men.
BowingArrow 0
Hey, I'm scared of sharks, and water. And I'd never go into a lake or the ocean. The kid probably thinks a random shark might come out. It would be better to tell him he's safe in the lake, not tell him he's an idiot...
feralphoenix 4
nah the kids still an idiot
BowingArrow 0
He's just scared, it'd be better to reassure him. :P
BowingArrow 0
He's just scared, it'd be better to reassure him. :P
overthelimit 3
125 - just stop talking.
Franco24 0
i am so happy my parents didn't raise me stupid.
sweetkitty26 0
Stupid? If this kid lives in southern u.s., like Florida, then he definitely has alligators to be afraid of. Not just sharks.. Don't forget the water snakes.
Franco24 0
chances are she wouldn't try to convince her son into swimming in a shark filled lake. then again, that would be the perfect way to get rid of your child. hm...
Hi_I_am_Q 0
Too late!!
jessyrodgers 0
Stupidity is a matter of perspective
synonymous 1
To the internets with him! Or try to find out where he got an idea like that.
DrIDGAF 7
Tell him you killed the shark and show him it's safe by jumping in the water! Then pretend you're drowning and make him cry ;D
Hi_I_am_Q 0
What the **** is with your picture?
sydie5 12
bull sharks can swim up rivers. tell him that to cheer him up ;)
aramross91 7
True fact I've seen someone catch a bullshark over 10km from the nearest beach/ocean inlet.
cc_the_beast 6
Bull sharks are cranky bastards too...
block1 2
Just throw him in
kelsey_katie 17
Damn. I meant to thumbs up this:/
heartbrakej 0
damn, I meant to thumb you up
gleniatorixx 5
You've sure raised a smart one! :/
iAmScrubs 19
Beach towels are usually good to protect against anything. Harry Potter once killed a basilisk with one.