Today, right now, for some reason my dad is sat in the living room masturbating. In our house you have to go through the living room to reach the front door, as there's no access to the front of the house if I go out the back to the garden. It’s been a while. If he doesn’t hurry up I’ll be late for work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
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Top comments
TwoBytesCarley 27
What the actual ****. Tell him to go charm his snake in the bedroom or washroom like a normal human being who has kids at home!
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Make like you’re giving someone a tour of your place on FaceTime.
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Comments (4)
TwoBytesCarley 27
What the actual ****. Tell him to go charm his snake in the bedroom or washroom like a normal human being who has kids at home!
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Make like you’re giving someone a tour of your place on FaceTime.
Battousai124 9
Might be a bad idea since he apparently likes the thrill of being caught or someone watching.
Underscore_foo 5
That does not sound like a safe family household. You have your father masturbating in the family room…
Lost Reggie 22
Just walk on by like nothing is happening.