Today, I told my girlfriend that for whatever reason I find it really difficult to orgasm stood up in the shower, she immediately demanded sex in the shower on the basis that without my orgasm maybe I’ll finally last long enough for her to orgasm first, or even at all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I realised that unless I masturbate about an hour before sex, sex lasts less than 20 seconds, but even after masturbating I’m still lucky to last a single minute. I don’t know how to stop disappointing her, and she’s my first serious girlfriend. I’m pathetic. FML
Today, my girlfriend has two speeds in bed: so slow that it’s just not exciting for me, or so hard and fast, I can’t physically keep up and it starts to hurt. We’ve discussed our different needs a bunch, but so we’ve had sex every night this week and I only orgasmed once, masturbating in the shower. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML
Today, according to my boyfriend, getting me to orgasm takes so long that about 90% of his mental energy is directed at him trying not to orgasm first, so he never really enjoys himself. When he fails to get me to orgasm, I apparently use the forbidden sex phrase “It's fine” which makes him feel worse. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
She is very smart! Marry that one! She's a natural problem-solver.
TomeDr 25
Dude, take the hint! You might want to consider making sex good for HER for a change!
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
She is very smart! Marry that one! She's a natural problem-solver.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Well now you know what you need to do, get on with it.
macone 30
And you don't want to have sex with your girlfriend because...?
TomeDr 25
Dude, take the hint! You might want to consider making sex good for HER for a change!
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I'm wondering if the other commenters have gotten the wrong take on this one. If OP is a selfish guy who doesn't care if his girl has an ****** that's one thing. But if he thought he was pleasing her and this is how he found out that he wasn't, that's pretty brutal, definitely an FML.
lexxiasaurus 31
communication is so sexy in the bedroom, and then both of you can ****** without her feeling left out. women are so communicative we can and will tell you how we will ****** better if you just ask, and listen. we want to ****** as much as men do, if not more because women hardly get the opportunity to find a partner willing to listen
Vesi 30
Yeah we girls have a hot button that is at the top of the vulva.. might want to start playing with that button and see what happens. =)