Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML
Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML
Today, I used the upstairs bathroom rather than the downstairs one, which was in close earshot of my parents. When I came out, my mom angrily asked why I used that bathroom. I explained to her that I have shy bladder, and she said, "That’s not a real thing. I can go even with someone watching." FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
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Top comments
nightowl713 25
Well, while it may not be ideal, your a guy do you could always pee outside right?
steff900 6
That sucks, if only you had another bathroom
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Comments (134)
steff900 6
That sucks, if only you had another bathroom
JocelynKaulitz 28
You're a guy, guys can pee almost anywhere! Take your chances and find a bush!
DontModMeDammit 10
"ya dad just was on my way outside."
kayla_ann0o 9
Piss in the kitchen sink and go back to bed
folfg0 12
"Gee dad. Thanks for being as big a dick as mine is cause I have to piss!!! *pisses on the door. Walks off* mother f*****."
The_CL0GGER 0
if you're a guy, nature is your bathroom
Drigr 9
1 bathroom, 4 sisters at my house. I often find myself pissing behind the woodshed.
egc573 40
18, your comment reminds me of my dad. Being that there was only one bathroom (when our large family was staying over for Christmas, no less), my resourceful father decided to improvise, as only a man could do in that situation. Long story short, I woke up to the sound (and, unfortunately, sight) of my dad pissing into an empty bottle. Good times.
888pickles888 4
The answers quite simple really, I'm sure there's a plant in your home that could use a good watering :P
klovemachine 24
Just pee on the floor and say that your dad did it :D
aaahhhfire21 0
Say yah right here and piss all over the door walls and floor
mystashisgone 6
Tell him to wait his turn. Or barge in and use the restroom. If he locked door kick it down, he did that just to mess with you so mess back.
ThisIsMyReign 4
Find your way to the sink and have at it! Also, OP he is your dad shove back!
AliSama 17
#1 go to a local fast food place etc and pee. It would not take long. #2 it is your dad. Knock on door say dad I have to pee. Nothing wrong with using the bathroom when someone else is in the shower. People do this a lot . Unless you're pee shy.
TheArchAngel 8
18- Through the crack of the bathroom door would be better, actually.
nado13579 12
Am I the only one who imagined the dad as Trollface while reading this?
AllThatHit 7
haha I did too. I was actually scrolling down the comments to see if anyone mentioned trolldad
bunniex1 11
Or you open the door and stare at him till he is finished. Rest assured you will always be first for the bathroom after that.
nightowl713 25
Well, while it may not be ideal, your a guy do you could always pee outside right?
nightowl713 25
You're* so* :)
burro_fml 6
Sometimes auto correct changes "so" to "do." Let that one slide.
kandi_kid69 15
Got to love auto correct, right?
ImaginaryFoe 1
It's more likely that he just clicked on the "d" rather than the "s" by mistake. No point in correcting typos (one doesn't simply learn to proofread) but good job educating the masses on proper "your" usage. Learning is never a bad thing.
Hellooomindyy 0
He corrected himself.
kevinn95 0
2- my thoughts exactly at first i was like dam that sucks but when he said son the first thought in my head was go piss outside or in a bottle retard -.-
KeyboardWarrior 10
Who are you calling a retard, Pauly-D?
MattZAX 9
Or pee on his pillow
itsame0987 18
52. My autocorrect always changes so to do for some odd reason. Very irritating.
NuTrees 9
One of the great advantages of being a male is being able to pee freely. You coulda walked outside OP. you coulda peed anywhere.
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
Autocorrect changes to most commonly used; if it frequently changed a word it adds it to the most used and it's a terrible cycle.
UncausedRyan 2
But knowing how life works, a cop would drive by and catch him peeing outside and label him a sex offender for life.
Brotha_Lou 5
Peeing outside is barbaric, I prefer pissing in the kitchen sink.
fymother 13
Sweet revenge: pee in your dad's coffee
FabulousToaster 16
Girls can pee outside too... they just have to be willing to. (Edit: that sounds ultra creepy. I'm a girl and I do not have a pee fetish. I do bushcraft every now and then. Sometimes a 'toilet' is just a spot on the ground which I cover with leaves each time.)
the_true_batman 10
You should piss in a glass. Hopefully you don't get caught.
Roastzebra 1
Should of pissed in his shoes, at least that's what my little niece used to do.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Find a nice, empty bottle of mountain dew. Be sure to hide it in the fridge so nobody accidentally finds it on the counter and drinks it.
efemel94 7
Yes, because if it's in the fridge, people won't drink it.
StoryOfTheYear 15
67- Oh my goodness, I didn't think about that at all. Thanks for pointing out what should've been ever so obvious when I was typing out my comment. How embarrassing. :[
sirpantselot 22
Don't worry, I think it's perfectly safe wherever if it's in a Mountain Dew bottle.
XxDevilxXGt 26
Woah, mountain dew is delicious.
jake12221212121 4
Yea, not really
DespairFaction 11
In a glass? I would have gone out back.
kittenvks 11
71- keep up the good work, you keep going like this and you'll be on someone's profile as a favorite commenter too. No sarcasm.
fylx100 19
So 116, what's your question? :) Because according to your picture, you mustache me a question. Is that true? :-{D
the_anti_hipster 7
146--I think he's shaving it for later :)
fylx100 19
151- LOL You're right... Probably why he hasn't replied :-{[
beaglegal 42
Then give it to him as lemonade. :)
IndyJustin 4
Pee outside
SparkleyTurtle 4
Seriously. Tree's are nature's toilets
wlddog 14
Exactly. What's has happened to kids today? I used to walk out of the house simply so I could piss and not have my mom ask me if I closed the lid.
happle 21
No. No. Pee on Dad's side of the bed.
murphy22 6
Don't most guys go outside to pee if the bathroom is taken?
unknown_user5566 27
20 "P" words. I'm impressed. Well played, 31... Well played.
MidnaLink 35
42 try saying that 3 times fast
Ray_of_midnight 23
Asinine alliteration.
white16sox 19
96, I can't say it one time fast.
bunniex1 11
20 p words. Sorry that I got bored and stopped reading at p word #5
tellithowitis 13
To the sink it is...
commonlogicz42 6
**** the sink, go piss on his car. "going somewhere?", "oh I'm certainly going to GO, somewhere..."
Lilbabynid3 3
pee in a bush!
EduJav321 24
Men are like dogs, the world is our bathroom!
BunchieRules 31
46 - Or pretty much every other animal.
destinee_95 2
Hahaha, you should have pushed him out of the way
whatthefrick 3
Outside is perfectly good:)
superswagbro 7
Posting what others have already said isn't.
A7XCamaro 19
97- You do realize the first 10 comments were within a minute of each other right? So it wasn't really copying.
tennisrapper1 14
What character from your dad. Props to him!