Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML
Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that for whatever reason I find it really difficult to orgasm stood up in the shower, she immediately demanded sex in the shower on the basis that without my orgasm maybe I’ll finally last long enough for her to orgasm first, or even at all. FML
Today, right now, for some reason my dad is sat in the living room masturbating. In our house you have to go through the living room to reach the front door, as there's no access to the front of the house if I go out the back to the garden. It’s been a while. If he doesn’t hurry up I’ll be late for work. FML
Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML
Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML
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Top comments
Azalorgm 7
I feel like this needs a follow up
klovemachine 24
If at first you don't succeed, try try again :)
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Comments (94)
robj118 10
Take a shower when no one is home ;-)
Bioshockxs 9
Since no one else wants to help, I'll help you. I'll be over in a little.
frip_fml 9
I can help rectify your problem.
thetmills 8
He knocked probably because it takes you an hour to cum.
erichsalvesen 13
I could help if you need it...
The_Hula_Monster 10
If this really does start to affect your sex life, you should talk to your doctor.
elcee1987 18
It sounds like op has no sex life outside the shower
LaLince 40
Do you take a shower just every three months?
CassSanchez 5
hey it might be worth the 3 month wait. the build up
lambda_fml 40
You should have just shouted back "I am coming! I am coming!".
Late_night83 25
SO I guess none of you have experienced an ****** with the pulse setting on the shower head? I come so fast! and multiple times if no ones waiting to use the restroom. f y l that u have not had it off in so long.