Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
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Top comments
young_weezy_fml 3
those french tips tho
SmittyJA24 26
... Yawn ....
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Comments (94)
Zebediabolical 45
Rule #1: Women are responsible for their own pleasure. If they can't or won't take an active part in getting what they want they deserve all the shitty sex they get. Rule #2: That goes for men too.
karlcolt45 19
she was clearly checking to see that they weren't chipped, she wants to look her best when she's having her world rocked...to sleep
ironhead_fml 20
Tag out!
lil_mars 1
Just talk to her. Ask her what she likes, dislikes, and what she'd like to do more or try out. What are her fantasies? Any secret fetishes? If she's not a stupid bitch, she'll work with you until you BOTH have a fulfilling sex life. You got this, OP.
somuchfeels 11
You know what keeps shit exciting? Donkey punching.
swick25 22
#32, Yes Donkey Punching your partner is sound advice. Even better that said advice is coming from a 16yr old who is either still a virgin or has very little sexual experience. I must remind myself the next time that I am having a sex problem for your amazing advice due to your mature and oh so many sexual escapades!!!! ******* idiot
mete_orito 34
Tell her to scratch your back with them next time you do it.
cloud1138 10
If you're doing it right her nails should be digging into ur back
Dawnstempest 17
See, I never got that. Going one way like that always just struck me as abuse. Let's flip it for fun, so if she's doing it right she should be red and bleeding down her back? It supposed to be a fun time for both people not just "Ohh haha, he's doing it right look at him bleed." Now don't get me wrong, I'm into stuff that's above and beyond a little scratches... But it's agreed upon before hand, and it goes both ways in equal measure... Going just one way like that and thinking it is okay without consent is just abuse.
davincidasecond 24
Well, did you throw cum in her face to get her attention?
papasmurf6358 3
did you get a little rough and chip one of them? kudos!
Ashh91x 4
The answer is find a better sexual partner.
saocrates 16
Or try to work with her to become a better one since they are dating and all....
allmidnighteyes 11
Or you know, he could talk to her about what he could do better and they could sit down and have a serious conversation about their sex life. But you know, just saying "I don't like this one, can I have another" works just as well.
jdeezy01 13
I agree with you sweetie.