Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
Today, at the gym, I caught sight of myself in the mirror while lifting weights and thought, “Damn, I look good!” I smiled. Then I realized the mirror was actually a window. A group of people outside had been watching me flex with a shit-eating grin on my face for God know how long. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I was running around the track at school PE with a lot of other students. I noticed a guy who smelled really bad and I thought to myself how disgusting that was and I felt bad for him. Later, I was changing and caught a whiff of my shirt. It wasn't him who was smelly. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Sunako_fml 9
That's just disgusting..
Welshite 40
What a disgusting habit. You deserve the contempt of your peers.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (272)
fml98kevin 4
haha
buck33 14
You have got to be kidding me. Haha? At least try a lame joke. Getting thumbed down for a stupid joke is better than this crap.
_Oblivion_ 12
You're ******* weird, what the hell do you think it's supposed to smell like?
XKXKKXK 10
I agree. That IS the point of a FML. To get you to laugh. No point in commenting that then. Might as well go to a restaurant and say "I ate food." Alright that was a horrendous example. But whatever. 27- That was not a reply. Don't comment jack.
_Oblivion_ 12
I love how you have only 39 comments yet you know all the rules to fml. It's not a written rule, plenty of people thread jack and not too many people seem to care.
Popcornography 10
Think you'll get a few odd looks from your future squad mates as well.
_Oblivion_ 12
^ Point proven.
Rowdey 10
Comment number is pretty irrelevant, though I see your point. Most people make an account far after they start reading FML's. And thread jacking is alright in my book if the comments are funny.
1221jamw 11
Yeah thread jacking doesn't matter to me anymore, I used to care but stopped when nobody else did..
elliotb94 9
My dog does this its hilarious, and people saying it's weird its not its just instinctive. Maybe you could've disguised it as if you were wiping sweat off your upper lip then had a quick wiff?
PawnShopPenguin 4
You really did a lot with the first comment there bud...
TBelle4Ever 15
Did someone other than me say "haha" like that kid from The Simpsons?
XKXKKXK 10
Actually, I'd agree that thread jacking is fine if it's funny. This wasn't. Baha
ShyAnn29 15
Why do people get so mad when they think the comment is stupid, it's really not that big of deal.
Sunako_fml 9
That's just disgusting..
kaileylovesyew 4
I agree thats just extremely gross. Y wuld tht be a habit
borkchop1992 15
10-I like how your first sentence is grammatically correct and thwn your secpnd looks like a 13 year old girl wrote it.
FMLshark 12
Hey, for all we know, his balls could smell like roses. No? Okay.
buck33 14
21 - According to the profile, 10 actually is a 13 year old girl.
ohmandapants 17
21 I like how you couldn't even make sure that your own comment had everything spelled correctly. Also, learn the difference between spelling and grammar.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
10) Hey, I cut too! I just love cutting bitches! Are you going to end up being one of those bitches? Cause frankly, your profile pisses me off something fierce. 39) the fact that he misspelled was the joke.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Fine, let me rephrase that. 39) The fact that he misspelled WAS the joke, sweetie. 10) I feel like mauling you.
Meettitan 14
I agree with 39; seeing as neither sentence is grammatically correct.
JackeeDawn 9
Sometimes it is just a natural reaction.
aruam365 24
39- That was the point, genius! Congrats on having no sense of humor. He was typing like that intentionally.
nado13579 12
21- Dude, that's an insult to 13 year old girls! We can actually type English.
Driveshaft 5
Any male here, giving op shit, is a hypocrite. We all do it, op just made the mistake of forgetting he was in public.
legitkitty 11
21- I find that offensive because I have had exceptional grammar since around age 11-12. And 32, I think that they might just be younger than that. Just my thoughts :p
legitkitty 11
*She, not "They". Sorry!
stephhrunsaway 21
Anything with "out of habit I..." deserves it lol
luvlifeyolo 1
Ewww dude that's juts gross!!!
Synistiel 14
39- It was both, dumbass. She forgot a period at the end, and her spelling was atrocious.
Angel272000 4
I agree with u
kaileylovesyew 4
Ok.Yes, I am a 13 year old girl. I am sorry if I some how offended the stupid Grammar Nazis with the horrible grammar and attrocious spelling in my previous comment (10) and i also appoligize if any of the words in this comment. Is my grammar and everything good enough now?
welandedonthemoo 5
Reminds me of that show Blue Mountain State. Just my balls lol
kaileylovesyew 4
*I oh I'm sorry! I forgot to capitalize one of the I's
ajeppsen 25
I live in Utah, I better not run into you at the gym.
VoteForTaco 8
He mastered the art of not giving a ****.
Welshite 40
What a disgusting habit. You deserve the contempt of your peers.
slurshies 11
I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth.. >_< grodie. also, yeah, YDI. faith in human kind, -200
WearingHats 14
You don't like the smell of vinegar?
DomDomxoxo 16
My ex used to do that. Disgusting. There's a reason he's my ex.
slurshies 11
I'd be staring too
birdcagereligion 10
76 - I'm pretty sure nobody does.
Bigdanish9785 3
And why so you snell your balls after scratching them?
Bigdanish9785 3
Smell*
Bluekaren16 19
To determine whether or not he has to wash them? I don't know. Guys are weird.
ydi_4_suking 20
cuz OP is a ball sniffer
onlychildFTW 34
I guess OP really likes the smell of balls.
Zoh_Aubrey 8
But OP, if you're in the gym---you know your sack smells like schweddy balls.
alliewillie 22
^this.
Mooish 18
Well Their is no valid excuse for that.
glorialaura21 8
"Their is no valid excuse for that." How has no one corrected this comment yet? And it has three thumbs up?! Is this some joke that I haven't gotten yet? Have all the grammar nazi's died? WHAT THE **** IS GOING ON HERE. THERE*
missalkali 8
you skipped a question mark.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
You missed your capital letter.
trivel64 16
**Well, there is no valid excuse for that.
ygdrassil 17
It should be "Nazis". No apostrophe.
Dunvanation 4
You should all kill yourselves you ******* grammar nazis lol.
bryans1990 9
200: "Nazis." MLA = the period goes inside the quotation marks.
RocketNinjaFish 12
237: No, it doesn't. The period marks the end of a sentence, so all parts of the sentence should be enclosed within it. :)
RinnieRiot 9
Really?. Like this?!?!.
bobleheadNS 0
Your grammar sucks, bitch.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
You actually made a habit of smelling your balls? Really?
zandalee 20
Oh everyone lighten up! It's guys like OP that keep the world an entertaining place to be. The only harm he's actually doing is to his nose, for the love of God!
andyyroxx 20
And everything he touches.
zandalee 20
He is at the gym. People (hopefully) shower after the gym...
laden_swallow09 35
…and every single piece of equipment he uses before he washes his hands. Now that everybody in the gym knows who he is, there's no telling for how long others have had to literally bask in ball sweat. We don't need to lighten up, you need to get a clue. That's just plain sick.
minus20 4
Am I the only one that instantly thought of Harmon
The_Big_Boss 20
Who else does that? Weirdo.
MURIKKA 11
Ok I don't think many people make a habit out of it, but I think most of the guys on here have done that at least once...
The_Big_Boss 20
I'll admit, I scratch mine. But smell your hand when you are done? Really? I can go without smelling my own sweat
koolkat27 13
The fact that he did that in public is what worries me.
WafflebotO_O 4
There was this kid in my high school that used to get a kick out of wiping his ball sweat off other people. Nobody said anything, because he was the biggest kid in class :/
trg568 7
I do it once in a whilr
betty_white 12
wafflebot .. thanks for sharing *wtf jackie chan*
ahippienamedrae 10
Pedophiles on the internet?
laden_swallow09 35
That's why God gave Man knees, to bring down the big guy. If the kid was still too tall, there's always the foot.
jose562 5
It's ok I do that too but I have never got caught doing it in public.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
You're getting off to a bad start on here, buddy.
Nbackus9 4
I have heard from a lot of my guy friends that they do that... It's very awkward... I wouldn't do that!
leh9 2
Ew that's disgusting
AussieChild 22
But why would a guy do that..? What's the point in smelling ball sweat?
Tragichero92 12
To verify those balls are his.
usmcheins 1
I hope at least it didn't smell bad
lidsthesquid 4
Why comment if you haven't read the post properly?
BulldogHoops 14
Yep, I'm sure his ball sweat was piney fresh.
Kajol123 5
He scratched his balls, of course it's going to smell bad!
SongBiird 6
Scratch and sniff ;P though I must say that's a bit of an odd habit.
alshygirl 14
Especially at the gym. There's no way working out and sweating helps in the smell department
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I'd totally kick him outta my gym. He'd be touching all the barbells and dumbbells with his nasty ball scratching hand...hopefully he washes off his equipment after using it.
kmaeh 8
There's this old lady in my town and her nickname is actually " scratch and sniff" ... No matter where she is...
zandalee 20
Awww poor old lady....
defferwa 9
As soon as he said "sniffed my hand" I hit 'You Deserve It'...