Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
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Top comments
devendra_fml 0
that's a drag!
pleasenopuffin 0
shit happens, man. doesn't mean you failed, just start day one again and hopefully it doesn't happen again.
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Comments (93)
Norwegian_Wood 4
OP just start again with day one. This time, get rid of anything to do with smoking. I, at least, believe that you can do it. :). Good luck!
ragdollsaally 0
wow epic fail!
flame1819 0
Because you, unlike me, don't have asthma, the biggest thing between me and smoking (other than my mom. I don't want to smoke anyway)
invisiblemonkey 0
Pot is so much better. Virtually no health risks and a much better feeling. SCREW CIGARETTES.
babylon_pride 0
I won't lie; I like pot too. But don't be stupid. Pot /does/ have health risks and I'm really sick of teens (my own age, mind you) saying that it's perfectly healthy and it isn't a cigarette. It is better than cigarettes, yes. It isn't physically addicting unless you've done it daily for decades (though it can be very mentally addicting). But for just a few of the many risks, it can cause damage to the bronchial passages, it is an immunosuppressant - meaning it screws over the immune system so you'll get sick super easy compared to non-smokers, and more than anything it can easily cause cancer if done a lot. It's smoke, going into your lungs, sometimes being held longer than cigarettes would be held. It isn't good for you. Don't try to tell me it isn't. I think it's a wonderful thing used medically, and I do honestly believe it should be legal while cigarettes aren't but it isn't healthy. That said, OP, that sucks. Try again; you can beat it. It just takes a lot to get over those three days.
invisiblemonkey 0
Compared to other drugs, its like nothing. And it CAN have virtually no health risks when ingested instead of smoked (although its a lot more boring this way). According to research, you have to be a VERY heavy user (as in multiple joints per day) for pot to affect your airways and lungs. Of course it won't be good for you, but its essentially harmless compared to even legal substances like booze and cigarettes.
Pearljammer001 0
everyone on here modereate so they will post a new fml
onnielief 4
Get your head back in the game! Good luck quiting, and try harder next time. FYL for being addicted, but YDI for taking up smoking in the first place.
Dymed_Diva 0
hvb
aback 5
Addiction is pernicious. You have to get that shit out of your house, or at least put it up where you can't easily reach it. It will sneak around your consciousness to your automatic reflexes. You have to make it difficult. Good luck.
soccerlover1234 0
smoking is bad!!!
dorsey7 0
your an idiot.
cryssycakesx3 23
you're* genius.