Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML
Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML
Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML
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Top comments
mpj13 8
You don't hit those kind of balls in pool
kymidwest 0
Rack em' ;)
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Comments (128)
kymidwest 0
Rack em' ;)
kelissa_fml 16
Another comparison to snow-globes??
IAdminIFlow 0
ur like haha u litlle bastar..... ouch what the fu... oh shit.
Rhysviri 10
You should have whacked the cicada with your balls instead. Y'know? (;
shanemaximo 7
Scratch. Ball in hand.
ShyAnn29 15
I've never heard of them referred to snow globes before
K_kanaka 26
A man should always protect their face but more importantly they should always be careful of their ahem "snow globes"
deviable 9
Calling them snow globes makes me think you have dandruff down there.
thiscrazything 1
OP was blackballed by his own stick.
Uraharas_Bankai 1
Did the snowglobes break!?
krash357_fml 7
Double K.O!! Draw!
idkhaha 4
Who calls them snow globes???
blackheart24 10
Left nut. Corner pocket.
ClaremoreZebra 8
Ouch, I'm sorry man. I don't know what else to say but ice it!
yahoowizard 16
Haha, he can't have swung that hard. Just man up and keep playing
ladyLALAA 29
Will ice help snow globes?
ClaremoreZebra 8
Yeah, but you the ice pack in a hand towel. Works like a charm.
mpj13 8
You don't hit those kind of balls in pool
THE_A_TEEN 28
You don't? Damn, I thought that's how you play pool in the nude. Well I was wrong.
the17doctor 12
that's why you don't get invited to nudist games of pool
jujubunni5 9
Clever (:
myFMLname 8
would've been even more clever if OP said 8-balls
Azula272 14
Double K.O. Fatality!
shadow123456789 0
Ouch.
shadow123456789 0
I hope you didn't swing to hard. It hurts to even think about.
btnhdude 0
My pouch.
peasonearth 8
Again with the 'snow-globes'
chilearmy123 4
What are snow globes?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Slang term for Testicles, I.e. Balls, I.e. Nutz, I.e. marbles, I.e. pebbles...you get my drift.
chilearmy123 4
Ohhhhh kk
Swedude 5
Nonono, you got it all wrong. OP's father was a snowman.
KunoKanashimi 3
In actual terms, rather than slang, snow globes are those glass balls that you shake up and it looksl ike snow is falling inside. Then there's nads...You couldn't have figured this out on your own?
XtraEzeee 8
Please, you're all wrong. OP brought his snow globe collection over to show his friend, and he accidentally knocked them over.
Unlucky_Gun 0
Was his name frosty?
chucklebary 1
Nice
kakarot2 11
Did it feel like Christmas?
ycrem0n 21
Jingle balls, jingle balls, jingle all the way
Torva_fml 16
Oh what fun it is to rii........ Oh.... Nevermind, you're probably still sore.
DirtyMike911 0
Get the wife to kiss it better.
EduJav321 24
Or something similar
EatMare 8
wouldn't been easier with a shoe?
jtthegr8 26
He was trying to multi task, maybe his balls had an itch?
auzz1_pride 9
Maybe he had no shoes on :O
sikmunkee 9
so close.