Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
devendra_fml 0
that's a drag!
pleasenopuffin 0
shit happens, man. doesn't mean you failed, just start day one again and hopefully it doesn't happen again.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (93)
APH_759 0
smoke weed every day
SeasonedLemur 5
who gives a shit let the Op smoke. each cig only takes off 10 minutes off you life hell I would keep smoking the ******* if they took off 10 years! let people do what they want you little bastards!!!!
Pearljammer001 0
@47
Pearljammer001 0
wow, comment fail. never mind my other comment
j2484 0
******* dip shit
CyclonePsycho 1
Yeah! Go OP! You can do it!
turdburgers 0
Throw away everything, then you can't make one.
rockediny 0
u have to roll ur cigarettes? where do u live, Columbia, where it's fresh?
boomachicaboom 1
Plenty of people roll their own cigarettes. It's cheaper. I did that for a while before I quit.
deadsrs 0
at least tell us it was the best smoke you've ever had lol
sherril 0
stupidity