Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
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Top comments
devendra_fml 0
that's a drag!
pleasenopuffin 0
shit happens, man. doesn't mean you failed, just start day one again and hopefully it doesn't happen again.
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Comments (93)
HeyThereGorgeous 0
Not all Americans. I could be dead on my feet and I still wouldn't be lazy enough 2 type like thiz lolz r u going 2b l8? No one understands that bogus language!
invisiblemonkey 0
Yeah kabrina, we're all ******* stupid. There's absolutely no possibility that he could have been rolling on ex, then unconsciously started smoking a cigarette. No chance.
LeverPuller 5
If you can't take from the context of this FML that he is talking about rolling a cigarette, -not- doing drugs, then yes, you are.
invisiblemonkey 0
Well sorry I live in America where the people don't have to roll their cigarettes. How about you calm down and accept that it is possible he was doing ex so you don't have to sound like a twat about it? Stupid bitch.
boatkicker 5
Even here in America, its still a LOT cheaper to roll your own cigarettes than buy them, and a lot of people do roll their own.
LeverPuller 5
I live in America. lol Wow someone's got a stick in their ass. Rolling cigarettes is cheaper than buying them. Plenty of people do it, America or otherwise. And if it WAS possible he was 'doing ex', I'm sure he would have included it in the FML. Which he did not. The way it is phrased, he's talking about rolling a cigarette. Common syntax. :/
killergummyworm 0
when I quit I stuck my hand in my purse unconciously for muh smooths constantly. it's weird but it can go away. mind over matter. and now I don't feel sick everyday :) good luck
latralatrala 0
this is completely normal for someone who is trying to white knuckle quitting smoking read "the easy way to stop smoking" by allen carr when i read it i understood everything about why i smoked and why stopping was hard and i have found it really easy to quit with no withdrawal symptoms, and no pain and the best part is you get to smoke while you read it, its not required to stop before--though it's also useful to people who already quit but want help making it easier and no i'm not being paid to say this
KASHMIR_fml 0
addiction is fake. non existent. I was a pack a day smoker for two years. I decided to stop two weeks ago and haven't had withdrawl or urges or anything.
spellbud 0
quitter
Widow_Maker 1
YDI
Ganty 0
isnt rolling a cigarette a time consuming and difficult process...? from what i've read at least...
ts_eliot 0
@165 - no, if you roll cigarettes all the time, it's not at all time consuming or difficult. I've had reports from friends that when I'm so drunk I can't walk I can still roll a perfect cigarette. OP, I did exactly the same thing. Ten minutes after I woke up and felt so proud of myself for making it a week without smoking, I realized that every morning, without fail, I'd rolled and smoked a cigarette whilst drinking my coffee.
BoWZeR 1
oh shit haha Im riolling right now 2 XTC iz da shit white bombs and mollys all da way..oh and ur little problum is gay