Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor at the same time, using only my toes. This was the highlight of my day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad trusted me to go driving by myself in his car. I foolishly celebrated by doing a jump heel click, landed awkwardly, threw my hand out to stop myself falling, and scraped the whole bunch of keys down the driver's door. He trusted me for like 3 seconds and I blew it. FML
Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML
Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML
Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML
Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML
Today, after failing my learner's licence twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mum's car into an old lady's fence and ended up in her backyard. FML
Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML
Today, I took my driving test. I spent 30 minutes with the handbrake on. FML
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Top comments
griffins33 4
That would totally be the highlight of my day
Potterhead1 3
Wingadrium Leviosa is much easier
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Comments (126)
baseballplaya5 7
Better than being sick
A100893 30
Better than a lot of things. If you ever break both hands you will appreciate this skill.
BatteryAddict 11
As woody Allen said: "Enjoy the little things." - Zombieland.
kaylamahoney90 12
Toes are great for picking up things when you don't want to bend over.
peachesncreem 21
Is this what they do for fun in Tasmania?
shanemaximo 7
I picked my toes up off the floor using only my keys and my drivers license.
dalla25 6
um well it is tasmania...so i would say, yes, yes it is...
griffins33 4
That would totally be the highlight of my day
melchibr_fml 0
In snowboarding a toe grab is quite the accomplishment.
sonrisapreciosa 6
You are quite talented.
linkinpark98 24
Too bad it isn't.
laurenzo16 0
Reading this FML is the highlight of my day
littletinyME 5
The highlight of my day wasn't even near this awesome...
Potterhead1 3
Wingadrium Leviosa is much easier
BaconBoy75 2
True. But having the proper emphasis and wand flourish are critical.
fedora11 12
Potterhead1- you made my day :) thank you!
leogirl95 12
Accio driver's license
hjanelle14 2
muffliato
Potterhead1 3
9 - It's LeviOsa, not LevioSA
hermitknut 22
Swish and flick :D
homeboyangst 17
With so many Potter fans, I'm surprised that no one commented that it's "Wingardium leviosa." You have to be careful with pronunciation! You don't want to end up like Seamus Finnigan!
AssassinsCRB 0
40 how is muffliato relevant it makes a buzzing noise in peoples ears...
leogirl95 12
114, I almost did, but then I thought about how many thumbs down that one would receive...
Potterhead1 3
114, I did comment about pronunciation
nabila21 0
Actually pretty cool mine was drawing hello kitty with brand new markers -_-
jonriise18 3
FYL!
silvergaze 1
Mine was draw a yak eating grass. It was epic.
StopDropNRoll 11
I don't draw.
Redoxx_fml 22
Need a moment? Chew it over with a Twix!
instnt1nfction 17
You keep using that word, I don't think it means what you think it means.
FirstTigerHobbes 13
That's kinky huh? *picks up keys and license with toes* ..... Doesn't feel kinky... Lair!
Calyx_fml 22
Maybe he has a foot fetish.
tanneriscool 2
Everytime firsttigerhobbes post's, I down thumb. He just isn't funny. And probably never will be, just like this kid that says kinky all the time.. Smmfh... *shake my mother ****** head*
FirstTigerHobbes 13
tanneriscool, so our rivalry begins general douche-bag
angrymexican 8
Firsttiger wins!
tanneriscool 2
It begins, **** boy.
808Boyo 4
That's gotta be the lamest insult I've ever heard.
Trickiest_K 9
Hahahaha
babybrunette128 8
Your one talented person...
anon80214 15
^You're*
SesameSpeed 7
^ douchebag
NippsSlipps 10
^ Troll
SesameSpeed 7
^truth
NippsSlipps 10
^ What?
SesameSpeed 7
^ in the butt?
NippsSlipps 10
Alright you made me laugh.
friedchickenpie 14
^ C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
SesameSpeed 7
^ right?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
^no, wrong.
surfnshred 2
Wow your life must really suck
OhHushDear 11
Nope. He got published to the site because his life is great =)
FirstTigerHobbes 13
It could be worse, you could have a somewhat intimate relationship with your cat?
kittenvks 11
Is that experience talking?
FirstTigerHobbes 13
That depends, can experience talk?
Xcherrypie 16
Make tomorrow a better day, attempt larger and multiple items.
TheFirstSamurai 18
And then move on to foot juggling.
Xcherrypie 16
With flaming knives, obviously.
iAmScrubs 19
You might as well take it to the next step and drive the car with them.