Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
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Top comments
devendra_fml 0
that's a drag!
pleasenopuffin 0
shit happens, man. doesn't mean you failed, just start day one again and hopefully it doesn't happen again.
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Comments (93)
tastycakes 0
Ha! Sometimes the same thing happens with me when I'm dieting. I'll finish a cheese sandwich/ cake etc and THEN remember I was trying to cut those things out for a while. I think our brains play tricks with us when it comes to giving up the things we really crave/ enjoy!
Wuzzgoof 0
! een Groninger, krijg nou wat.
Intellectualist 0
Smoking is dangerous to your health? Really? REALLY? Change the record FMLers, sometimes thats why people actually start. You're a clever lot aren't you.
shrdlu 28
If you've smoked long enough, it becomes something you can do without thinking -- there were times I though, "Gosh, I want a cigarette" only to discover I was already smoking one. Does anyone remember the first time they drove a car and how it required total concentration? And now you're talking or singing along while you drive and barely realize you're driving at all. To the OP: As others have said here, just keep trying and start with day one again. And unless you live with other smokers, GET RID of all your smoking-related possessions, including all the lighters. (Give them to someone who still smokes.) If you want to keep a pack of matches to light candles in case of a power failure, put them somewhere completely different from before. For some reason the 3's seem to be the hardest -- 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months. But you CAN do it, and it does get much easier with time. There's lots of support for it online. BTW I smoked cigarettes for years, but am several years quit now. The best part of quitting is no longer spending all your time planning for that next cigarette. Now I can go to a three-hour movie and not only watch all of it, but pay attention to it the entire time. Maybe I've replaced smoking with making excessively long posts online? :-)
cryssycakesx3 23
why do people replace I'm with am? -- real question.
thatOMGZguy 0
Old habits die hard
Cholie1144 0
To bad man. I'm trying to quit as well it's so hard!
archeryqueen08 0
Hey... Smoking is a hard habit to kick... be proud you make 3 days... all you can do is just keep trying man.
d4m4s74 12
the moment I step out the door of my house I intuitively grab and light a cigarette. The only way to keep myself from doing it is by putting my cigs in another pocket.
Lucky_boy 0
been their done that. that's not to bad it happens alot.
ayjayyuk 0
You cant be a non-smoker if youve kept your tobacco you fucktard