Mind games
Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML
Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in his bed watching football when it went to commercial. He started kissing my neck and trying to get me turned on. Then I remembered we'd be going to visit his mom soon, where we'd be playing Wii. That thought turned me on more than my boyfriend did. FML
Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML
Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML
Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cybersex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
griffins33 4
At least your being turned on
Robro54 6
He probably had a nicer body and more sex appeal in your imagination than he did in real life.
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Comments (109)
WeAreScrewed 3
he must suck. o:
DocBastard 40
He must NOT suck, which is why sex with him isn't great.
boydeee01 7
Waiting for someone to say, "Doesn't matter, had sex."
KeyboardWarrior 10
Doesn't matter, had sex
kyarush 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Doesn't matter, had sex.
aliaskis 3
Doc, did you move? Coulda sworn you were in Hungary. You're making this whole stalking thing much more difficult than it should be.
DocBastard 40
Aliaskis - did I what? I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about. *moves to Portugal*
griffins33 4
At least your being turned on
Wicked361 8
I don't get why you got thumbed down... You said the truth
MikeDa1Da 14
I don't get why you got thumbed down.. You said the truth
vturbz91 0
Kakarot your a douche ... oops "you're" a douche
Wicked361 8
60- I'm not sure if you saw my comment or are just mocking me...
NICKandCARLY 0
Haha. Your boyfriend sucks!
mike3775 39
Well it seems that maybe there is something about the BF you do not like.
Redoxx_fml 22
Perhaps his penis?
goldfishgod 20
I can show you the world, girl.
Pinkfl0yd 9
I get that it's Aladdin but what does Disney have to do with this post?
goldfishgod 20
It has to do with the fact that I want to take that girl on a magical, sexual carpet ride.
Redoxx_fml 22
I hope you clean that carpet
Valdrek 26
51- BAHAHA zzzingggg
Valdrek 26
...sorry, made me lolocaust.
KiddNYC1O 22
Sasha Grey =].
bizarre_ftw 22
Goldfishgod - I am honestly depressed that I appear to be the only one that thought of the Steppenwolf song before the Disney movie *facepalm* society saddens me sometimes On the other hand *applauds and bows with a hat twirl* kudos to you for the reference. I approve! ^_^
bizarre_ftw 22
24 - your name and comment combined sadden me further
Robro54 6
He probably had a nicer body and more sex appeal in your imagination than he did in real life.
94yhy 8
That's the problem with fantasizing, you expect too much from someone and you end up disappointed.
Enslaved 38
All those naughty things you thought about doing, should have been acted out, then things might have been different.
shrekus 0
Indeed, most are to shy or embarrassed to tell the other person.
jennt89 10
story of my life lol. I wish my bf would last more than 5 minutes.
FinnishAmerican 3
Ha I'm sorry!
cjwalsh86 0
5 minutes! You're lucky! I'm happy to get 30 seconds!
Sarahmarie1990 0
You just have to get him drunk or go Multiple times usually does the trick
rogerover 19
Try oral sex. NEVER fails to please in a most orgasmic way!
jtthegr8 26
Ehhh i've gone for 2 hours...got bored and tired...its still amazing though
louiseth 9
57, I read the second half of your comment in Mary Poppins' voice.
ocie14 9
It happens. That's why it's called a fantasy. Not reality.
JCLPASCUAL 4
amen to that
infinitii 0
I'd like to see the look on your boyfriends face if you were to tell him that the theoretical version of himself is 10 times as good as he is lmao
yandizzle 0
I'm so going to tell my boyfriend this just to see what he does lol
aliaskis 3
Seriously? Because even after you say "just kidding," he will always wonder whether you really were. Way to actually try to give the poor guy a complex. You sound like a fabulous girlfriend.
SecretMe00 5
She was joking around 44.. Chill. Besides some people have open, random relationships like that (like my man and I). U just have to know the person to know your limitations.
spazz666 18
75) No, she wasn't joking. And maybe your man and you have "open, random relationships like that" because you both have "open, random" bad grammar together. Even joking, a seed of doubt is all anyone ever needs to twist it all out of proportion and demolish their hard worked-for self confidence. You go right ahead and tell your man that he's not pleasing you and your imagination is 10x better than the real him and see if he ever does as well in bed again.
Snafuusmc 12
It cums naturally I guess...
KeyboardWarrior 10
BOOOOO
llaman1gguhl4ugh 5
LOL
ieatcats 0
i see what you did there.