Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my girlfriend had changed my ringtone to some woman moaning with pleasure continuously. I found this out in the middle of a job interview when she rang me. FML
Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML
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Top comments
kleider1 9
Dude. I think she has trust issues
ChickenInMyKitch 4
You gotta wait for that second ring brah
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Comments (477)
6u174r_d00d 6
Dump the bitch
czucke 4
Answer it in two rings.
BeccaSki 6
Coming from a chick...do yourself a favor and save yourself...She will eat your soul
annigotammo 1
clearly two is the happy median
camelspanker69 0
she sounds like such a great girl. your so lucky to have her!!!! HAHAHAHA
brokenhelix 4
DTB
katt_is_here 24
Coming from ANOTHER chick...I concur.
katt_is_here 24
My last post was meant to go under BeccaSki (# 319.) We all know how "special" the comment system is though...
vorak_fml 0
Bro.... You always answer on the 2nd ring!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Your girlfriend is a paranoid psycho. Usually if your significant other is accusing you of something, he or she is guilty of the accusation. Maybe it's her that's cheating and has sex on the brain all the time, and thus is using you for it. Cut her off and see what she does.
aragmir 13
Kick her in the boobs, break up and get outta there.