Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Time to bail
Today, my girlfriend likes playing games on her phone more than she likes me. FML
Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML
Priorities
Today, I wanted to spend some time with my girl, but she was more interested in her phone and 90 Day Fiancé. Bored, I went to play video games. Ten minutes later, she came looking for me and yelled that I clearly prefer video games to her. FML
Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML
Alexa, play 'Karen Don’t Be Sad' by Miley Cyrus
Today, my girlfriend posted “Alexa, play 'Flowers' by Miley Cyrus” as her Facebook status, all because I didn’t return her 14 missed calls. Apparently, taking an online proctored exam, which required absolute concentration counts as “talking to other women.” FML
What do you want from me?
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Turn it off
Today, my wife whined that she couldn't sleep, while she had her eyes glued to her phone, her Switch in her lap, the TV on, and her bedside light shining in her face. I've long since learned not to comment on this. FML
Unreasonable
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
Top comments
iop330 22
She was talking about your lack of different communication skills. You should learn smoke signals, sign language and rapid text speak. If you really want to impress her I advise learning how to use the beacons of gondor. Bitches love the beacons of gondor.
MrConcise 35
Eye contact and communication go hand-in-hand, but phones also go in hands.
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Comments (30)
bearstyle22 11
skynet will take over one day
Adm_Twigs 19
its only a matter of time til they release the Samsung S-1000
MrConcise 35
Eye contact and communication go hand-in-hand, but phones also go in hands.
SkullsRules1 26
Re evaluate yourself then. I'm not saying she's right, but she might be. So prove her wrong
iop330 22
She was talking about your lack of different communication skills. You should learn smoke signals, sign language and rapid text speak. If you really want to impress her I advise learning how to use the beacons of gondor. Bitches love the beacons of gondor.
CatLady4Lyf 30
Can't forget Morse code. That one definitely gets me all hot and bothered.
BillMurray_fml 12
I knew the Morse code part of my phone's flashlight app would come in handy!
BrotherPhil 35
Cats and morse code? I would ask you to marry me, but I'm already married. Unless I can interest you in mormonism?
hobbs96 26
The reason I hate smart phones. Where has our generation gone? Completely engrossed into the Internet.
Attacksloth 33
No offense, but that happens with every big lifestyle-changing innovation. Just look at when newspapers became big in nineteenth century Europe. People loved them. You'd have a few people saying that newspapers could corrupt the masses, but look what that and the telegraph and the car and the airplane and the wheel did for everyone. Of course wheels can be used in tank treads. Newspapers can disseminate lies. Telegraphs can make war more efficient. Airplanes can drop bombs. Internet can kill precious time and dumb people down. Is it really that helpful to think of new technology in such a cynical way, though? These inventions have amazing potential. Some good, some bad. That goes for anything. A sprinkle donut is bad because I can potentially choke on it. As an individual consumer, use the technology however you see fit, or don't use it. Use it for good, ignore the way others use it.
Brandi_Faith 34
Wow 23, that was so well written! I wish I could just copy this reply and show it anytime anyone comments on the evil's of technology. There always bad with the good. Personally, I absolutely love what Internet has done for learning. It makes research for assignments or work insanely easier than having to go to the library every time, it also allows you to find answer to any question in seconds, and you have an entire dictionary in your palm. I cringe when I hear my mom talk about how she used to have to go to the library (which wasn't always open and always easily accessible) and take out encyclopedia's (which every other student in her school also wanted) for research for any assignment.
carecow 16
Hypocrisy at it's finest.
UmmOkThen 31
Time to look for a less hypocritical and self-involved girl.
brandoneyez1 25
Smart phones cause distractions that never were before. Just politely ask her to put it down and talk to you.
D3ATHCARDNO7 5
All the cookies to you.
Econforthwin 15
I can't stand being yelled at while someone is doing something else. If you are going to yell it should be given your attention.