Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML
Today, I went to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her her stuff back. We broke up earlier this week after a two year relationship, and I'd hoped she would've realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I rang the doorbell and her new boyfriend opened the door. FML
Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML
Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML
Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying, "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up." I certainly wasn't aware. FML
Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying, "I love you." FML
Today, I called one of my coworkers to ask him where he was, because I needed him to come downstairs. After 2 minutes of yelling on the phone to come downstairs, I realized I'd called the wrong person, and was actually on the phone with my ex-boyfriend, who took me 6 months to get over. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
Problem: Answering any unknown number. However, the answer to that question is ALWAYS that current GF is worlds better than anyone you have EVER dated and you are the happiest you have ever been. The person (next time) may not be your ex but a plant by your current GF. To the outside world your relationship is GREAT. Then, if that is not the case you discuss the not so good parts with your GF in private.
RichardPencil 32
Who's depressed? Your current girlfriend or your ex-girlfriend? I can't tell, but I know who is certainly depressed: your English teacher!
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Comments (3)
Thaylok 17
Problem: Answering any unknown number. However, the answer to that question is ALWAYS that current GF is worlds better than anyone you have EVER dated and you are the happiest you have ever been. The person (next time) may not be your ex but a plant by your current GF. To the outside world your relationship is GREAT. Then, if that is not the case you discuss the not so good parts with your GF in private.
RichardPencil 32
Who's depressed? Your current girlfriend or your ex-girlfriend? I can't tell, but I know who is certainly depressed: your English teacher!
Ubehage 32
Why would you tell your ex-gf about how your new gf is? I would advice your current gf to dump you, right away! YDI. Honestly, I don't think I have read a more stupid fml, ever.