Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my girlfriend had changed my ringtone to some woman moaning with pleasure continuously. I found this out in the middle of a job interview when she rang me. FML
Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML
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Top comments
kleider1 9
Dude. I think she has trust issues
ChickenInMyKitch 4
You gotta wait for that second ring brah
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Comments (477)
xamcavip 0
DUMP HER ASAP
breeaannaa 0
You don't know the two ring rule?
nikkirl5 1
Then stick to 2 ? xD
fyreshadowes 2
Wow, bitches like that make the rest of us girls look bad. I've never heard of the two-ring rule and it sounds like utter bollocks. My suggestion is to dump her and find a new girlfriend who isn't psychotic.
thats2funny 0
Run while you still can!
LightUpThaJay 3
Get out of the relationship while you still have your balls. This bitch is CRAZY.
sueannpalma 7
can u say crazy dump her ass
kyrativ 1
Ditch the b*tch! She sounds insane
zyme 11
Same thing happened with my first girlfriend. Sorry to say I think it means the Novelty that your relationship was to her has worn off. My best advice, keep yourself a bit distant and mysterious and you might regain her interest. If she bites, don't give in, keep being moderately hard to get - good luck, and P.S. all women are crazy, you just need to figure out if you can get use to her kind.
BlindTruth 0
Dude, if your girlfriend is that controlling, it's time to end it.