Today, a customer came into our store and asked if we sold "child-sized coffins". This isn't even the weirdest question I've been asked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working at my job at a bank. A couple was waiting in the lobby, and not being busy, I asked what they needed. They told me that they were applying for a loan, so I asked if it was for something exciting. It was to pay for their 12-year-old son's burial expenses. FML
Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, at the funeral home where I work, I asked my boss if it was time to "bring out the stiff". I didn't realize the guy's family was not only in the building, but within earshot as well. FML
Today, a customer brought her kids into the store where I work. I like to make people laugh, so being my usual joking self I kidded, "Why aren't those kids in school?" She didn't laugh when she said that their house burned down the night before and the kids had no clothes to wear to school. FML
Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML
Today, a customer yelled at me because we didn't have any laptops in stock. I work at a clothing store. FML
Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML
Today, I heard that one of our customers had passed away. Saddened, I told everyone who came into our shop about his death. Understandably, some customers got very upset and one even fainted. Suddenly, the "dead" man walked into the shop. Turns out I got the name wrong. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
EA Sports, it's in the game.
BethGaskarthh 9
Sounds more sad then weird...
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Comments (105)
someotherguy453 3
K den
nchic01 17
nice
TrippingOnAcid 29
Did anyone else find this fml really tragic?
ibanghellokitty 8
I found it really creepy if you ask me. what the hell happened to that child....
laden_swallow09 35
What difference does it make? Look at OP's username!
9echo 17
Did the customer also ask about a "buy one get one free" deal on some body bags?
Rooters24 8
Haha. This is the only FML that I have moderated and said "yes" to ever, and it gets published. I say I am magic. Just kidding.
EnderWolf1013 9
i just moderated a reslonse that said the kid died of cancer at five and that you posted this.
brand125 17
turns me on
incoherentrmblr 22
I think they went to Staples...
airplanez 1
I have to know... What store do you work at??
Preposterous 8
Office Depot homes... it's in the name.
Pleonasm 36
EA Sports, it's in the game.
Mirakledba 10
read his name
nyahz1 7
Ok so now that we have established that you work at office depot....WTF! Unfortunately sarcasm is not in the customer service manual so what did you say to them...and if thats not the worst thing you have been asked then what is??
ohSNAPyall 27
Not sure that sarcasm is the best reaction to give someone who is trying to bury their child.
fivetimeslonger 24
Not sure someone who has to bury their child is going to look at Office Depot for one. Probably some dick trying to annoy retail employees.
BethGaskarthh 9
Sounds more sad then weird...
SystemofaBlink41 27
Actually, it becomes weird when you see where the OP works.
aireeahna 23
I can't help but wonder if the FML about the neighbor who collects body bags was the person asking about the coffins...
brand125 17
makes me hott
liketenpandas 6
Lord save us... it's than***** not then
emmingle 24
"Yes, with free refills!"
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Creepy.
badluckalex 23
no #21. its perfectly normal :D
Freethaawave 19
21's avatar is creepier.
thisguy22 33
Thank you for this comment. It made me laugh much harder than any of the FML's have in recent months.
tacojauns 45
If this ISN'T the weirdest question you've been asked, why did you choose it to be a FML?
slyde32 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
TODAY, this is s messed up question he was asked today, fml doesn't start with "a few weeks ago"
DriAA7 17
I'm sure nobody uses a past experience on FML.
Pleonasm 36
The FML consists of this, which is considered shocking and weird to some, becoming almost commonplace to OP. Her desensitisation due to past questions is what makes the FML and her casualness is what might make it humourous to some. Referencing the weirder things and only hinting at them, making them relative to this experience instead of revealing them outright is a more effective way of conveying the frequency and the intensity of the weird questions she gets to witness, and allows us to use this as a measuring bar and let us imagine the weirder things that could have happened. Was that SO hard to not be obtuse about?
mattjamt 16
I dunno #20, but I thought it was pretty acute.
persianninja 23
then what is??
Enslaved 38
I'm dying to know too!
laden_swallow09 35
I see what you did there, 15. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
jerryj 27
"Do you sell ******** sized coffins?"
ironichalibut 24
What would be wierder, if they expected it to be in the office section, or if they expected the home section?
nchic01 17
well it depends: what kind of store is it?
zandalee 20
Office Depo
doubleddun 9
That's really sad but. Not really an fml for you I don't think.
anonymousguy1569_fml_fml 12
I'd report that to the manager if I were you. Tad ominous to be asking! It's always better to be safe than sorry!