Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML
Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML
Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML
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Top comments
bigpappy7 5
So...uh...how did you manage that?
inner_peace 19
Just reading that made me cringe.
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Comments (145)
yeyeboys 20
All I want to know is how?
ahippienamedrae 10
I don't even want to know.
olpally 33
At least you didn't get it caught in your zipper of your jeans... Ayyyy. Lol. ^^(movie, there's something about Mary)
bigpappy7 5
Such a good movie
VanOBrien 14
Ah yes..."How does one get the beans above the frank?" I do feel horribly for the OP however. As this is a condition that has happened to my cousin several times. Tis quite painful.
weeping_angel_ 13
What was the doctors reactions? xD
Silently1479 5
probably something like "there's another one."
ItsJustMe1616 26
Damn dude, I am beyond sorry that happened to you! As a fellow man, I would never wish that on anyone else. FYL OP, I hope you have a quick recovery!
MrConcise 35
Are you in a room with Ben Stiller's character from There's Something About Mary?
johbstonjacob 8
How even...?
token_blackguy 18
And this kids is why boxers are the best.
DaMann360 19
I like boxer briefs
Respect101 17
well boxers give the male much more room, but if your out running or getting sweaty, the boxers sometimes curl up and you balls could end up hanging out and you need to find a secluded place to untuck your balls and boxers.
EarlyGrey 10
I guess you could say you got your panties in a bunch
aeisha26 12
this definitely should have been illustrated
inner_peace 19
Definitely not...