Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML
Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML
Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML
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Top comments
bigpappy7 5
So...uh...how did you manage that?
inner_peace 19
Just reading that made me cringe.
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Comments (145)
bigpappy7 5
So...uh...how did you manage that?
ironichalibut 24
I imagine a case of sticky scrotum combined with some hasty underpants work. It's a recipe for pain. Awareness of this danger needs to be raised.
Pesticides 19
Sometimes tight underwear can be too form fitting. You go from slightly adjusting to having a part of your jimmy jank being pulled in all directions.
wanted_2_want 40
He's got pretty active underwear #1
junkman6 22
I remember hearing urban legends of this when people wore boxers under their girdles in football. Thank god I was old school and wore a jock strap :P
JMichael 26
I too would like to understand how something like that could happen.
mahughes 19
This is why the world need to look into the myth of compression shorts
creedfish 21
Some males have "saggy" balls it could be the cause. I have "big" balls so I have to wear baggy pants and I now and then check in the doctors just to make sure I don't have some sort of cancer. I don't know the medical terms for ball sacks. So I used the quote system to explain what I mean. There is a medical terms for sizes and shapes. I'm sure were all adults here.
SarahSehhati 40
#68 you mean your scrotum?
incoherentrmblr 22
Just reading this hurts my balls...
wizzbee 13
Its the bloodsupply to the ******** that got twisted around and therefore was blocked. This happens within the scrotum accidentaly in some males, usually between 16 and 30. Its a medical emergency, and the bloodsupply needs to be restored (untangled) within 4 hours, or the ******** affected will die. Hence the catchfrase : testis is time! Its painful, so a patient will know somethinv is wrong.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
I'm wondering why it specified his OWN underwear. Does he regularly wear other people's underwear and so it happening in his own a surprise? Say nice lose boxers compared to his girlfriend's frilly French knickers?
foxwasalamb 24
or his boyfriends. we don't know OP's sexuality
VanOBrien 14
One of the greatest movies of all times, EVER! (It's also where & when I received the same nickname right out of high school.)
Since1998 20
If that is the case, #77 is right. That is called testicular tortion.
Mightytall 35
This is something that can just randomly happen. Pants too tight or pants too loose, during sports or during sleeping. One thing is for sure, once torsion happens there is massive swelling and pain. And if you're unlucky and it doesn't twist back by itself while walking to the car to go to hospital, there has to be surgery to twist it back. And if you're prone to have torsion they can tack the testes to the scrotum to prevent future occurrence.
guineagirl96 38
Torsion
dudecall 18
Had it happen to me during the summer at my labour job. Like an idiot I stayed at work in pain for 7 hours. When I went to the hospital the doctor called me an idiot and the next time it happens drop everything and go to the hospital. Worst part was I had to get medicine and while getting it the only person working was a very attractive lady who leaned in and said with a smile no sex for 2 weeks. :/ feel for you op good luck.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Inquiring minds would like to know.
ohSNAPyall 27
90, your nickname is NUTS?
inner_peace 19
Just reading that made me cringe.
cakefete2 31
I think every guy on here had that same response.
gjikvtj 18
Maybe a few women, too ... :(
PrincessCastiel 27
I'm a girl and I still was like "Oh my Jesus!"
_Buttons_ 11
It is very true
tingtingmeg 12
how did you manage to do that?
cbelanger 9
Yeah... I have many many questions
ironichalibut 24
Ask one of them maybe?
ironichalibut 24
Managed to reply as #20 to #4, so I win regardless of votes.
Godsofdracos 15
No, just no.
leary96 15
It's actually pretty common. It's called testicular torsion. It happens to 33% of guys.
JJ_86 22
The condition you mentioned is correct but it doesn't happen to 33% guys. It just happens to about 1 in 4000 guys and mostly in puberty stage due to fast growth of testicles or to guys who have the case of testicles that can rotate freely.
Dallasluver19 14
That sucks balls.
TheAbstract 15
No, it really doesn't. It kind of twists and contorts them in an awful way that ensures pain.
qdawg06 23
How did you explain that to the nurses?
ironichalibut 24
I'd like to know how they treat "twisted scrotum"
inner_peace 19
Very delicately
junkman6 22
My mothers a nurse. You would be surprised how many stories she has told me about men's testicles being twisted up so bad for so long that one had to be removed.
badluckalex 23
"ya.. so uh... I was fapping so hard I.. uh... twisted my testicles.."
MzZombicidal 36
#65, that sounds exactly like what would happen to someone named BadLuckAlex. Lol.
FlickWaffle 30
wow! that takes some skill
zandalee 20
My deepest sympathies OP.
amberr_harperr 15
I'm sorry. that's all I can say
Kamon97 23
Isn't that what happened in Curb Your Enthusiasm? Lmao
Kittandapaws 8
There's just so many visions in my head right now that I did not want.