Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the restroom at work, but I forgot the press on the button/timer because the lights were already on, then the lights turned off while I was in the stall. I had to finish my business and exit the pitch-black restroom while trying not to bump into anything or anyone. FML
Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the lights suddenly turned off. Panicking, I waved my arms around, trying to trigger the motion sensor, but nothing happened. I had to finish in the dark, and as I was leaving, the janitor noticed me, turned the lights back on, and said, “Yeah, I turned those off earlier to save power. Hope you were OK in there.” FML
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
Today, I had to wave my arms like a maniac as I sat on the toilet at work, otherwise the faulty motion sensor/timer would turn the lights off after about ten seconds. I've had to do this for several days now. No one else has reported this problem, so management won't get it fixed. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I was stuck in a stiflingly hot port-a-potty for 30 minutes with the worst bowel issues ever due to food poisoning. To make things worse, the maintenance guy came two minutes in to drain the thing and had to wait outside till I was done, muttering angrily at me as I took the humiliating walk of shame to my car. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
Today, I tried to quietly leave a public toilet at work without anyone noticing how long I'd been in there. The automatic hand dryer turned on as I walked past, making me jump so hard, I walked straight into the door. FML
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Top comments
time4coffee 3
I don't see how this is an FML, you can get up and wipe in the dark. The same thing happened at my job but it was a blackout. You feel around and get out. Why wuss out because it is dark?
xCrackerx 3
It must have been... advanced darkness. A true FML.
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Comments (71)
abcnonamecba 0
that sucks XD
HamsteronA 0
he had the runs man. that's not that bad unless ur scared of the dark
pinktiger 0
hey at least you didnt get trapped inside....
lovingamylea 0
She had diarrhoea. Do you know what that means? It means she was (probably uncontrollably) persistently spouting liquidy crap. Stumbling around would probably have left shit trails on the floor. If you're going to say "why couldn't she wipe first?", well I think that was the point -it's hard to wipe in the dark. Especially when you're having diarrhoea, when liquified shit is all over the place. OP, hope your tum's feeling much better now. Remember to rehydrate before you pass out! :D
FarSide 23
@23: You MUST be from New Jersey if YOU can't find your damn ass in the dark.
DwayneHoover 0
Agreed. I don't see how this is an FML at all. (S)he should've just gotten it finished with (in the dark).
lovingamylea 0
It's not the problem with finding it -it's with knowing whether it's clean when you're done. You MUST be an idiot if you were so quick to judge.
murch 0
Blind people sniff it, try that! Anyway, I feel their pain. Happened to me, too.
turdburgers 0
Did swinging the door open and shut not work?
wingedtoad 0
I'm sure she would have loved to go home, but if it were me I wouldn't risk making the commute if I knew I might be spouting shit. As for letting her stay in the bathroom for half an hour... think of the alternative.
time4coffee 3
I don't see how this is an FML, you can get up and wipe in the dark. The same thing happened at my job but it was a blackout. You feel around and get out. Why wuss out because it is dark?
waterynuggets 0
I don't know about you, but I luv dark chocolate.
namnams 3
You stayed at work with diaherrea? And they let you spend half an hour in the bathroom?
jayemdoubleyou 1
Anyone need a *******? You can turn out the lights if you like, I mean my face is just THAT hideous.
trillian_fml 0
you can't find your own bum in the dark?
doogy15 11
Happens man, there are some BIIIGGG people in this world.
tisiphone_fml 0
Hmm, I suppose you did not think of throwing something in the stall- say, a toilet paper roll, into the room to make the motion sensor go off again? Or momentarily opening the door, as nobody else was in the room?
Ripunzel 0
were you stuck in the bathroom for 30mins cuz ur stomach ooooor everything locked down??