Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, I found out my 10 year-old step-brother has an obsession with fire, after he burnt all the belongings in my room, including a £600 guitar. FML
Today, my little brother got mad at me, so he colored the entire screen of my new iPod Touch with a black sharpie. FML
Today, my brother got mad at me for breaking the screen on his phone. He'd already dropped it so many times that the whole screen was cracked to the point that you couldn't see anything on it, but for some reason, I am fully responsible for its destruction because I accidentally delivered the finishing blow. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as "revenge." FML
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Skyzeri 20
I set fiiiiire, to the paint. Watch it burn as my grade fades awaaay.
cjlerch 29
I'd have thought that would've worked.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
cjlerch 29
I'd have thought that would've worked.
mahughes 19
Tell him your brother is the human torch
Random4Dayz 19
Maybe the dog set my homework my fire?They definitely would have believed that...
Indianboy9321 25
#10 If you said that they would send you to basic English class.
sometimessam 16
No #10. I would say that if I were you. That's a good way to get bumped down a grade.
thatoneninjadude 14
#11or the looney bin.
pooldude 24
at least it's better than " my dog are my h homework!"
bleeping 5
The old tea bag usually works well to age art work as well as pirate maps.
Crofty92 17
Yeah but "my brother brewed my homework into a drink" doesn't work as well
iLike2Teabag 27
And it might raise some eyebrows when you tell people "I teabagged my art".
Schizomaniac 24
31 has been waiting all his life to make that comment.
iLike2Teabag 27
My life was meaningless up until I made it.
wvni 13
I am slowly dying of laughter from reading that comment 31 made Edit: and his name, he must really like teabags
nix1993 41
I've done this a ton of times, I used to do it to make my History coursework more interesting, but you have to get a sponge or a cloth and wet the paper right along where you want to fire to stop... If his brother just set it on fire and hoped for the best then he's a moron.
pooldude 24
31 that joke nearly killed me!!! and was it a coincidence that your profile PIC was that of a teabag??
Jaevwyn 17
Congrats #59 you saw part of the joke that comes with his name *facepalm*
skilova4lifezzz 19
Don't try to argue too much, things might get heated.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
And you need to be careful to not burn your bridges!
cakefete2 31
If they're both hot headed, they might find themselves in a shouting match.
cadillacgal79 32
9-I believe you meant 'britches'?
cadillacgal79 32
Or down vote me if I'm wrong, the analogy I've always heard uses the word 'britches' and not 'bridges'.
foxwasalamb 24
i can assure you you're wrong. the analogy means don't burn friendships/connection. "britches" doesn't work with what the saying actually means
pooldude 24
33 its bridges.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
In this sense, it's bridges. As in, if you're an island and your connections to other islands are bridges, burning them is easier than building them. That said I Googled. There is a saying in some places of "That really burns my britches", an old word for trousers. Basically means "That really pisses me off". It's more than possible that in some areas, the local dialect has combined the two to mean both or either as often happens with old sayings. :)
Skyzeri 20
I set fiiiiire, to the paint. Watch it burn as my grade fades awaaay.
blazerman_fml 17
LOL your version makes more sense than Adele's!
soulreaper12296 28
That is awsome
pooldude 24
i laughed harder than i should have at this joke!! finally the song makes some sense to me.
Epickitty58 29
FINALLY a version that MAKES SENSE! Don't get me wrong, I love that song, but I never understood what Adele meant by "And I set fire to the rain, watch it pour as I touch your face".
ceji3 13
Im sure the teacher has never heard that before!
MrConcise 35
Little do we know that OP's teacher is the mother of the girl who almost set fire to their house while trying to take artsy Instagram photos. Needless to say, she probably feels fire and art don't mix.
TrippingOnAcid 29
You have to be so so careful doing that, and hold the paper a lot further away from the flame than you think
Indianboy9321 25
And not be tripping on acid!
TrippingOnAcid 29
You'd set more than just your homework on fire
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
Or singe it before you write anything on it to prevent anything important from getting burned up
football98_fml 20
I've heard the "my dog ate my homework" excuse, but I've never this one before lol
australianchick 8
My dog ate a massive semester long assignment once. I went outside for 1 min to collect the mail, came back and it was in shreds. As I don't usually do my homework the teacher though I didn't do it and got my parents into school and in the school assembly made me tell the school what my excuse was, until my parents arrived at the assembly and told them the truth. Lol, was the funniest day of my life.
Epickitty58 29
51- You got lucky that your parents saw! If they hadn't, the funniest day of your life could have been the most unfair and humiliating. Or worse, you could have been forced to do your homework. *DUN DUN DUN*
GamerG0DDESS 29
Yeah, I can relate to #51. I had recently gotten a new dog (whom is behaved now), she never saw paper before and ripped up my homework which feel to the floor overnight. I looked everywhere for it and then recognized some of the subject matter on these torn particles. I tried explaining to my teacher but they refused to believe me and said they couldn't believe I'd ever use such a childish excuse...I've never gotten an "F" before until that day. Luckily, I asked if there was any alternate assignments I could do to make up for it. He knew me to be a good student and decided to give me a paper to write; I was quite greatful.
Shannon98 16
That could actually be a believable excuse. It's a shame it didn't work.
Sebastian2022 22
Not trying to sound mean, honest question here, but can't you sense the vibrations?
TrippingOnAcid 29
I think you commented on the wrong FML dear
ahsanmasood 4
Next time stick to light washes of tea around the edges :)