Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
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Top comments
epoh_fml 0
aw it sucks but you're doing him a great deed. My brother is a 31 year old virgin (I am 85% sure of this). SOMEONE has to help those poor guys out!
jf7609 0
which hole? this guy hasn't seen any ****?
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Comments (147)
coolsteve 0
Put it in her ass. Girls love anal
TheRipper_fml 0
He had to be joking. There are only two options, one of which is clearly the asshole. There is no way somebody is too stupid to figure that out by a simple process of elimination unless they are mentally challenged, in which case you'd deserve it for thinking a slow guy would know how to have sex correctly.
RonWright 0
that's actually cute that he's still a virgin...I mean I'm a 16-year old vrigin and I wanna stay that way till marriage so there is nothing wrong with that just give him some guidence..
_whoops 0
thank you at least someone in this world has a good set of morals like myself...and for all you who "cant" wait im sorry for you that the only thing in life for you it sex..kind of sad
DaKillahMan 0
Yeah, because having sex is so wrong. Get the **** out of here with that. It's people like you that make me want to stop believing in religion. I bet you never made a mistake in your life, right? Bullshit.
Isoldael 27
86 - of course everyone has the right to wait until marriage (or not). But calling everyone who has sex before marriage people without good moral is just narrow minded.
ironmaneddie 0
WOW.. Is he atleast hung??
SumKid_fml 0
You Failz at having boyfriends.
intint50 0
you failz at trying to be cool.
Newbie21 1
well there is a first thing for everything
buzz2008 0
i knew someone in high school who in health class asked what would happen if u stuck it in the wrong hole haha
Aznforlife 0
it'll be 40 yr old virgin soon after you dump him
perdix 31
The good news, OP, is that if your boyfriend is a virgin is that you are going to give him the BEST sex of his life. Even if you have a hairy ass, a sandpaper pussy and use your teeth during fellatio, you are going to be the best lover he ever had.
joeyLoo 0
aww hunny I'm sorry, I know how you feel( this isn't Joey, it's his friend)