Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
epoh_fml 0
aw it sucks but you're doing him a great deed. My brother is a 31 year old virgin (I am 85% sure of this). SOMEONE has to help those poor guys out!
jf7609 0
which hole? this guy hasn't seen any ****?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
Jrook 0
I still don't understand how you can snap your balls in the process of putting a condom on...
perdix 31
Ignorance is curable. Stupidity is not. You've got this guy you really like, but he doesn't know what he is doing? You can teach him! You should have put on the condom for him. You should also consider yourself lucky that you have a guy who is willing to stick it anywhere. If you are a chick who likes anal, wouldn't it be frustrating to date a guy who wouldn't give you backdoor service? If you had a better attitude, this wouldn't be an FML, it would be an FMA.
Hanban 0
Agreed. And the OP should make sure that he gets his first time special. XD
x0aka0x 0
he's probably just being polite band asked if you wanted anal
Rota 0
Why is this an fml? You can show him exactly how you want to be pleasured now. Women are so ******* stupid to bitch about this stuff.
JasJR23 0
hahahaha it reminds me of the movie 40 year old virgin wen he broke like 20 condoms tryin to put one on... tell me u seen that movie....
nathat 0
FHL
melmcr 0
umm. break up much?
fmlpostthing 0
this guys probably nervous enough. try not to **** him up too much more by acting like he's a moron (which he kind of is for not making sure he's ready for when this finally happens)
12inchD 0
no he ment which hole should the pounding be
matt9999 0
fake