Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
epoh_fml 0
aw it sucks but you're doing him a great deed. My brother is a 31 year old virgin (I am 85% sure of this). SOMEONE has to help those poor guys out!
jf7609 0
which hole? this guy hasn't seen any ****?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
brian666 4
Uhmmm. you deserved it for having a virgin boyfriend at that age. WTF is wrong with you?
ughfuck1234 0
Sorry not everyone lost their virginity at 9 like you did.
butterflyz1961 2
That's a good thing, because you know he's not a ***** and he's clean. It's hard to find a man who hasn't slept around.
gammielikeoh 0
have you ever seen the movie? jk. at least he's younger than 40...
lakersfan4life 0
LMFAO that's the funniest thing alive
AtomicBryce 0
maybe there's a reason for him being a virgin
LexyLithium 2
Fyl dude. Or teach him ;D aha
toad396 0
Amish
Kingbreezy04 10
I love that......oh wait wrong movie
emochicksrule 1
HAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There's nothing wrong with not having sex until you're married but if you're going to have sex........don't ask wich hole. It makes you seem nerdy. :D
mr_bad_ass_ 0
Awww only 6 more years and it would've been way funnier x)