Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
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Top comments
epoh_fml 0
aw it sucks but you're doing him a great deed. My brother is a 31 year old virgin (I am 85% sure of this). SOMEONE has to help those poor guys out!
jf7609 0
which hole? this guy hasn't seen any ****?
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Comments (147)
supmofukka 0
confuse him and let him put it in ur pooper! hahahahaha!!!!
fsu69 0
hahaha
SAM5000 0
WTF 34 year old virgin can't put a condom that's sad
dan135 5
Hes never had sex therefor never needed to put a condom on. How is that hard to believe?
FoundManyLemons 0
Teach him a little, k?
cracktus 0
GAAHHH KELLY CLARKSON!
bonbon24_fml 0
haah!
ArentICute 0
...What does she have to do with anything?
justfienne 12
Awww, 131, you are cute lol. It's a "40 Year Old Virgin" reference. A particularly funny scene...
iangel92 2
uh wow
stupiddumbblonde 0
That's just sad. Even little kids know which hole it goes in.
yourlifesfucked 0
look on the bright side. he coulda guessed and put it in ur ass, or worse... he coulda bladder ****** ya
thunder69 0
hahahahahhahahahahh daam dis one made ma day!
uhohuscrewedup 0
hahaha how do u snap it on the balls, mo one can be that naive :-O. don't get rid of him like #1 said, teach him the ways.
Fr0gg13 0
maybe if you would look up on how to put a condom on your man that is pretty kinky, you'd have more fun. or watch a little **** together that won't hurt.
scheme 0
How do you even snap yourself in the balls with a condom I don't even
Rowdey 10
Hmm.. I feel like I've seen this comment somewhere before..