Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
Today, I went into labor, and my husband wasn't answering his phone. I called my sister to ask her to drive me to the hospital but she said she'd only do it if I paid her $1000. I had to dial 911, and almost gave birth in my bathroom in process. FML
Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, my son was so hungover at his wedding that he fell asleep standing at the altar and fell over onto his pregnant wife, knocking her backwards onto the floor. What should have been a happy occasion turned into a farce as we rushed her to hospital to check the baby was OK. FML
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perstephane 4
*Long distance support* What a jerk move! Hang in there!
justsayfuck 5
Oh wow.. that is terrible. I don't see how he can save himself from this one, bonding issues?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (401)
DroogyWoogy 1
What a nice gentleman.
vivek585 5
LMAO That's so messed up but so funny. :-D Oh and sorry OP.
rommie_fml 0
you should toss your newborn at his face, yell "bros before hoes" and run off.
s2kman 0
I'd laugh if it's not his kid! then he had a right
Holymonkeypee 0
He is absolutely right. He did nothing wrong.
DankAssKeefSlump 0
Lmao amazing Chicks before dicks tho
SubjectX 0
you picked him you dumb bitch, now you are stuck with him
Fooky_fml 0
people keeping saying what a bad husband blah blah blah a )She's writing on FML after giving birth b) She married the guy and it's doubtful the husband suddenly started acting this way ..sniff..sniff.. I call bulls**t
DarkHelmet 10
The man knows the Golden Rule of friendship!! I commend his course of action.
jaded_gal 0
#13, this behavior is never excusable, even as a "one-off" as you so nicely put it. a man should never ever ever ever act that way when a woman is about to do him the honor of giving birth to his child. the way I see it, she already has done all the heavy lifting, by housing & feeding his child for the last 9 mths. not to mention the weight gain, loss of sleep and general PAIN of childbirth & that bastard has the nerve to say bros before hos? F-that! you must only know shit men to possibly be able to excuse that OR not have had children. OP, tell your hubby he can have his "bros" due to the fact that your looking to raise one child not two. as an added insult don't give the child his last name, give it yours, esp., if it's a boy. he did choose a pint over you & the baby so since he's not there, he had zero say in the matter. good luck OP, welcome to motherhood, I swear, even though this a rocky start, it's worth ever minute.
Cinn_fml 23
Jaded_gal - My point was that if it were a one-ff then it might just be because he got more drunk then he meant to and he might not be a complete a-hole and therefore it would be possible for him and the OP to work it out and not just blow off completely. I'm not saying she should just forgive him without any kind of apology or explanation that he was out of line, but that it might be possible to work it out.
MD_DILF 4
Yeah, good idea about the last name **** the kid making a move like that! Typical ho!
Cinn_fml 23
MD_DILF, just shut it. You're not funny or clever, just be quiet and stop embarrassing yourself. This goes for all the comments you've just made.