Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
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Top comments
ohhhhshizzz 0
Well sex isn't always good for the first time you have to know what to do. Play with the clit:] Lmao, seriously you have to do all those things for the GIRL to get the ******. Good thing she was blunt
DeafChef 0
you didn't take her virginity. she gave it to you.
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Comments (259)
Grrrl 0
To keep yourself from sounding like a total rapist, how about you don't use the phrase "took her virginity"
deathkeeper666 0
i am sorry but thats sad i bet i could do a better job than you
truthbetoldxx 0
The first time can be pretty painful for girls. It wasn't you...well, maybe it was, but most likely it was just 'cause of that.
michelleebabyy05 0
well the first time doesnt allways feel good . but that sucks .
ThisisAlicia 0
My first time was terrible, and he was extremely experienced. I guess it depends if she's into it or not. No biggie.
potprincess 0
wtf. either you have a tiny ass dick... or she's loose as a wizards sleeve.
jwheel 0
I defs understand where she's coming from.
nikshy2329 0
hahahahahahahahahaha! sorry, that was mean, but that's still kinda funny
s1819f 0
don't worry. sex is not that great for the girl the first time. you spend your life convinced that sex is some magical experience, but then the first time lets you down. you will get better as you guys keep practicing it and she will like it more
Baby_Baby_BABY 0
I just laughed out loud at this reply. But yeah, FYL to this guy for sucking in bed