Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
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Top comments
ohhhhshizzz 0
Well sex isn't always good for the first time you have to know what to do. Play with the clit:] Lmao, seriously you have to do all those things for the GIRL to get the ******. Good thing she was blunt
DeafChef 0
you didn't take her virginity. she gave it to you.
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Comments (259)
TheEntertainer89 1
Wow, you know you're bad in bed when you somehow manage to disappoint a virgin. Maybe you should drunk chicks....
heatherlynne2008 0
Dont worry, it sucks the first time, for every girl, unless your pretty small, so take that as a compliment. It will get better for her, its only like that the first couple of times. Good luck, oh and yes, clit is the key =]
achristie9 0
First times generally hurt a bit, but not that much. For instance, I bled and it hurt at first, but that lasted fifteen seconds max.
jawjuhh 6
Aden?
DevilDoodle 0
And the best part of it is, she'll tell all her friends, too. =)
Holly_x 0
Don't take it too personally. For most girls, the first 2 or 3 times don't feel that great.
poptartz13 0
@Farside, dude. Lay the hell off of him. My first time hurt like a bitch. The times you screwed a woman for her first time probably just didn't hurt because you have an itty bitty peep. :P
Laterose 0
Did most of you fall asleep in sex ed? Just because it didn't hurt the first time for some women does not mean that the same applies to ALL women. My first time hurt like hell--I cried, I bled (quite a bit), and my boyfriend was quite experienced. It hurt for the next two or three times afterward, and that was it. Obviously if it's her first time, she wouldn't know that the pain doesn't last. It gets much better. It's also called the hymen, not the labia. >:/
amiecrabemotion 0
Damn! My first time was crazy. In a movie theater. Hurt.. But it was a good pain=-]
Britink 0
The first time I had sex it didn't hurt and I was not satisfied at all. The second time was the same. I hated it so much that I don't want to have sex at all anymore, which sucks because I am horny most of the time.