Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
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Top comments
hopelessteej 8
i can see that name becoming infectious...
havok87 11
What a dumb bitch. I feel bad for that kid already.
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Comments (176)
EvilUndead 9
I once heard that somebody named their daughter "Traviata". Now guess what it means in Italian.
inumiko 12
Poor baby! Dumb ass mom -.-
DrShrug 3
Wow that is one legitimately dumb broad. It's Not exactly a "YOUR life sucks" moment, but definitely one for her unborn daughter and any other future children.
lovelyohhmee 8
It's actually not a FML for you but for the child when she grows up. She would be changing her name when she is old enough too.
VScpu 3
Wow something like this happened to me. My friends and I were talking about chlamydia like last week and I said if it wasn't named after a STD it would totally be a name for a daughter.
charvisioku 22
I've been saying for a while that names are getting so ridiculous that 'Chlamydia' and 'Gonorrhoea' are inevitable, but I didn't seriously think anybody would be that stupid... O.o
stonedfishies 10
I really hope that's fake.. because if it isn't, then I feel deeply sorry for that child.
jem970 19
I am all for forced sterilization and taking a test to see if you are fit for parenthood. I mean my God... this woman needs to have her head examined!
mcar 13
Omg I feel bad for the kid.
Cryogenix 12
I heard this on either a movie or a tv show.